Part 1

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by taylorsos

by taylorsos

August 22, 2015

Weight: 125.5

As I flipped through the fashion magazines, all I could think was: Jealous. This is what I thought when I looked at my friend, Lila. She's 112 pounds and a cheerleader. She's perfect. I want to be perfect too.

I need to lose weight. I think this everyday yet I never do anything about it. Well this ends today.

Some say that I'm a healthy weight for being 5'5" but all I ever see is FAT. I need to lose weight. This is not an option. I'll do it the healthy way though. I won't be the girl with the eating disorder.

August 31, 2015

Weight: 125

Today is the first day of school. I've been dreading this day since the beginning of summer. I'm starting 10th grade. Yay me. Back to the stress, the homework, the sports, and worst of all, the bullies.

The bullying started in 8th grade. I won't go into full detail about that. I wouldn't know where to begin. Let's just say it caused my depression. Once I was so depressed that I began to self-harm. I started with one cut but I felt so in control of my pain. It's hard to explain but it just felt good in a way.

Anyway, I'm off to hell. I mean school. Wish me luck.

LATER...

I feel....exhausted. I got lost twice and once I showed up to the wrong class. How humiliating? I also stumbled into this upperclassman. He seemed really annoyed. I needed to do something to take my mind off of how horrible my day went.

Mom was at work until 7 soooo I had plenty of time to go to the gym and be back before her. I even had time to shower.

I ran around the track at the gym for a total of 3 miles. While I was running, I rocked out to my playlist titles, Playlist #1. It's a very creative name for a playlist.

Mom got home a whole hour late! When she finally got home she asked about my day

Mom: How was your day, honey?

Me: Complete and utter crap. I've decided to switch to online school.

Mom (laughing): You're a funny girl. You definitely will not be doing online school.

I stormed up to my room. For some reason, I was super irritated by this. I just don't want to go to school and see everyone's judgmental eyes as I pass them in the halls. I'm tired of being known as the girl who overdosed.