Life is an Adventure

I was scared.

The clock ticked away softly as I stared into the darkness for a while. The moonlight coming from the window was the only source of light found in my room. It was 3 am and I was scared to go back to sleep. The nightmare was still vivid in my mind.

I was walking in the park and I stopped by in front of a pond. It was a nice sunny afternoon and orange leaves had just started to fall unto the ground. I bent over towards the water and gazed at my reflection only getting distracted by the small water lilies that floated on top of the water.

I closed my eyes and smelled the sweet autumn air, enjoying each moment I spent in the park. Birds chirped as they stood on the branches of the trees. The wind blew gently against my face and I felt my hair move along with it. I crouched down and pressed my fingertips on the grass and slowly opened my eyes.

At that moment I fell into the pond.

The pond seemed bottomless and some strange force was pulling me in deeper into the freezing depths. I couldn’t breathe. My eyes were wide open but all I could see was darkness. All I could hear was the sound of water rushing past me as I sunk deeper and deeper. I tried to gasp for air but the water rushed in my mouth and I was drowning.

My eyes opened and I broke out into a cold sweat. My heart was racing. My fingers clenched on my blanket. I breathed in deeply until I was able to calm down.

I shivered from the fear of falling asleep again. I was wide awake and all I did was stare into the darkness.

I was afraid of many things, not just drowning. I’ve had so many nightmares involving every single fear I had to face each day. I was scared of heights, roller coasters, diving, flying on airplanes, strangers, you name it and I’m probably scared of it.

When I transferred to a new school 3 years ago, I had an anxiety attack, being surrounded by new faces in an unknown place made it so hard for me to adjust to everything and everyone. I remember it even came to the point that I would isolate myself in my room, locking the doors shut, just so I wouldn’t need to go to school.

My fears took over my life. Some people just didn’t understand. They had no idea how it felt to have your heart pace so fast that you feel paralyzed. The way your limbs trembled from the fear of what had seemed to be the scariest things you would ever have to face.

Sometimes, I wonder, why I’m scared at all. I thought about it for a while and all the memories that had to do with my problem just seemed to have vanished out of thin air.

What made things worse for me was that my little sister, Susan, was a dare devil and she would always try to make me do the things I feared the most. Being older, she had never been successful in convincing me to do any of her requests.

Sunlight slowly replaced the moonlight and my room gradually became brighter. The birds started chirping and I decided to get up and eat breakfast. It was my last day of vacation and my last summer before I head off to college.

My sister came rushing downstairs. “Emily! Let’s go swimming!" She jumped towards me and trapped me within her arms. She was taller than me and she was already wearing her summer outwear.

“No.” I bluntly said. With the dream I had last night, swimming was not even an option in my mind. She stared at me with sadness in her eyes. I knew she wanted to bond with me this vacation but there was no way I was going to face my fears.

“Emily, this is your last day as a high school student. Don’t you want to do something before you move to New York? Before you leave me here alone?” I stared at her and I could see small tears form within her eyes but she wiped them away. “I just thought you wanted to make our last summer together, before you move away to college, to be one of the best days of our lives. I guess I thought wrong.” She started walking away, towards the stairs.