Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Kashaf 23 january

"Ammi apne kya soch kar ye sab kiya. Woh kya sochta hoga ki zabardasti humne.."
"Yeh zabardasti toh nahi hai beta. Agar zabardasti hoti toh woh kabhi yeh mangni nahi karta."
"Mana toh woh tab karta jab use koi choice diya hota aap logone."
"Isme choice ki kya baat hai. Tum dono shaadi karna toh chahte ho na?Kyu ki na toh tumhare abba na main ye char din ka ghumna phirna aur phir alaydgi bardasht karenge. Tumse hume yeh tavvaku toh nahi thi Kashaf."
Ab main unhe kya batati ki alaydgi kaisi jab hum kabhi saath hi nahi huye. Kya bataun main inhe ki yeh sab ek natak hai?. Galat kiya maine yeh sab kar k bohot galat! Sach samne ane par pata nahi kya karenge yeh log mere saath.
"Ammi phir bhi aise bina itelah kiye mangni karna mujhe sahi nahi laga. Ap log kam az kam mujhe bata sakte the."
"Yehi toh tumhare abba dekhna chahte the ki kitne sanjeeda ho tum log is rishte ke baare mein. Aur Zaroon tumhare abba ke test me bakhubi pass hua hai. Agar woh tumse mohabbat nahi karta toh woh zarur inkar kar deta magar woh ek naik baccha hai. Mangni toh ho gayi hai ab tumhare abba chahte hai ki nikah bhi jaldi padhwa diya jaye. Woh Zaroon se milna chahte hai."
"Hargiz nahi ammi. Na Zaroon abhi shaadi ke liye tayyar hai na main."
"Isme tayyar na hone wali kaun si baat hai? Jab age ja kar tum dono ko shaadi karni hi hai toh abhi kyun nahi?"
"Abhi isliye kyu ki abhi humara career para hua hai hum shaadi nahi karna chahte."
"Yeh saari baatein tum apne abba se karna. Mujhe kuch nahi pata. Zaroon ka phone number mujhe dete jana."
Yeh kissa toh badhta hi ja raha hai. Khatam hone ka naam hi nahi leta. Yeh toh Bas ammi ka samna tha ab mujhe office mein Zaroon se bhi milna tha.
Daftar mein ate hi sab mujhe ghurne lage. Main zara age badhi toh kuch log age aakar mujhe congratualte karne lage. Soch rahi hoon inhe akhir pata kaise chala? Zaroon ne toh nahi? Nahi itna bewakuf nahi hai woh. Aaj kal baatein aag ki tarah phelti hai. Waqt hi nahi lagta aur baat sab tak pohnch chuki hoti hai. Mere khudaya mujhe nahi pata ab age kya hone wala hai.
Main kuch dair apne cabin me baithi thi. Zaroon tak jane ki himmat hi nahi ho rahi thi. Mujhe yakeen tha woh mujhe bulwayega isliye main uska intezar hi karti rahi. Magar usne mujhe nahi bulwaya. Yeh ek bohot ajib baat hai kyu ki aaj tak aisa nahi huya hai ki Zaroon mujhe apne kamre mein na bulwaye. Sham ke paanch baje tak main intezar karti rahi. Aur akhir mein main daftar se nikal gayi. Kya woh mere khud ane ka intezar kar raha tha? Kya woh mujhse gussa hai? Pata nahi akhir baat kya hai.