So peeps. I've been doing okay, but I've had really bad body dysphoria. I just really need a packer and I feel as if my chest binder isn't binding tight enough and so it pushes down my moobs some but not enough for me to wear a tight shirt or something. I say moobs because I refuse to say that I have boobs. If you gender code everything else like purses or even sandwiches then I should be able to say I have fucking moobs.
I kind of don't want to go home because they don't even use the right name which is the easiest for anyone. I mean using "she" makes me pretty sad but using my old name makes me want to break down. I just overall feel shitty. But on the bright side there is this one person.
Idk if they are a girl or guy or agender or genderfluid, etc, but I know that their pronouns are they/them/theirs so that's what I'll use. They make my mood lift tbh I had a crush on them before but we stopped talking to each other and we started again recently so yeah I really am crushing pretty hard on them but they probably think I'm just a casual flirt and I'm just like nahhhh flirting means I can get embarrassed so its reserved for special peoples. I wanna ask them to be my buttcrease but idk if they wanna do the whole go out on a date thing first so it's like what do. I'm just gonna probably ask them after the second date. Besides I shall be their sugar daddy. ASAP.
But really you guys should see them. They are really beautiful and sarcastic and talented and just all around great. I'm really glad they haven't seen this because if they did I'd be really embarrassed. I also can't go to sleep for some reason. My chest binder really hurts my back, I need a stretchy one but can't afford it. Life is kinda 💩 for me emotionally.
If only I could find a packer and not be a shy piece de crap.
YOU ARE READING
Transgender F2M Journal
Non-FictionI'm just going to write down stuff I feel and think throughout the days.
