High school: Time for relationships?

Prologue: About me

This is the beginning of the story and the one you should start with. Of course you don't have to, but it introduces me as a main character. The picture above is of me during freshman year (not really but I do wish I was)

Anyway this is just literally about me so...

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When a new student in my 6th grade class came into my life, I was changed. As I became friends with this new mysterious guy (his name is Chrish) I felt something come from deep inside me. This was the acceptance of me being gay, I of course didn't think much of it at this young age and thought it would blow over. Like usual I was wrong though it just grew until I finally realized who I really was in eighth grade. Once I finally realized this truth inside of me, I had decided to open up to my friends. To my surprise they all saw it way before I did, which was weird since I never gave signs off to people that I was gay in any way. I acted normal throughout my middle school life, but little cracks eventually let some tiny signs of me being gay. Apparently it was how I acted and who I was attracted to. Neither of those things were gay though, since I never acted gay or dressed gay. I had really acted like myself, which was apparently gay to others. Well with the attracted to people I really wasn't into guys at first. This was most likely because I denied the fact about myself and tried to have crushes on girls.

This didn't last long as I gained a crush onto a some what cute guy named Matthew. To my dismay though he was straight and a total douche bag anyway, so it was a bust. But it did start me on a path of finding out who I was on the inside. I ended the year without coming out to anyone during the time, but as I said most people has their suspicions. When 8th grade started though my urges started to lead me towards the male physical body. Basically puberty started to dig its way to the surface and slap me upside the head trying to tell me who I am. I eventually started to develop crushes on many cute guys, who were total douchebags. I had my first crush (after Matthew P.) on this guy named I think it was Thomas. He was and still is a total fuckboy who you couldn't tell was gay or straight since the way he acted around anyone. Anyway I developed my crush on him when I couldn't tell if he was gay or not, so I thought I had a chance. He would "sexually assault" me and like 10 other people for no random reason. I put quotes because I didn't count it as "sexual assault" since really I enjoyed it and this was before I came out. So yea I can see why people thought I was gay since things like that would happen.

Anyway my second crush was a guy named Anthony Cordova, but he really only lasted about a month. I still count him as one since he was obviously gay, even if he hasn't came out yet. He was and still is a total bitch, but he is a pretty attractive bitch.

My third crush of the 8th grade year was Alexa (now Andy), she was a girl who wanted to be a guy. She told people to call her a him, but at these points in time no one really cared. This did cause depression inside of her, which she released in one of the worst ways by cutting herself. I was really one of the few people who cared for her in a way that I thought was deeper than a friendship. People actually thought we were going out at one point, but when someone brought up the concept of that whole situation it was shot down. When she said, 'No, never I wouldn't date Jeremiah, we are just friends.' this broke me since I was sitting right next to her when she said this. I was immediately heartbroken by her comment since at that moment I wanted something deeper than a friendship. All she did was turn me against her and that's why our friendship isn't that strong now and days. Once she destroyed any chances with her I kind of left her side and looked beyond her.

This leads to one of the best and worst person who has ever made an impact on my life. This person was Maile, she was friends with me in 7th grade, but 8th grade was when we became best friends. She sat with Daniel and some other friends, since her friends (forgot name) sat with us. I became best friends with her, learning the secrets she wouldn't tell another soul. I felt special since I didn't really have a purpose, since I wasn't a smart person told to me by my report card. People thought I was gay, even though I denied any proof that they had. Also things at home weren't all sunshine and rainbows, since I now had to get used to a new presence at my mother's house. Thankfully only for every other weekend. Anyway she gave me some reason, but I would soon realize that more and more people would give me reason to life. As they started to tell me their secrets, darkness inside of them and just things they normally couldn't tell other people. Many realizations about life hit me during this time, making me an emotional mess. Of course no one knew these emotions going through me, since I was starting to perfect my shielding of emotions away from the world. Only people like Daniel, Maile, and one other named Shannon. She was someone with a situation close to mine, but not exactly; all I know is I did wrong on her.