Chapter 18

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The room again washed in light as Ryan turn on the lamp at his bedside table. He was unable to asleep and that was the only option for him to kill his time, seeing the light coming in his room and the darkness overcoming it. His mind was stuck at Zarah.

Why he wasn't able to remove her from his mind, that was still the biggest puzzle for him. It was still a surreal moment for him, the way she gave a warm smile to him-in that time Ryan became rooted. Because he never saw such beautiful smile in his whole twenty five years.

His heart was still aching, the storm was still a part of his being because the Lord to whom he prayed-he again betrayed him. Ryan had asked for Zarah's well being and what he gave him, Zarah who didn't even remember him. He just hated his life. He didn't ever get what he want. Everytime this God, his destiny had to play something weird in his way to push him more away from them.

Ryan felt his throat parched with so many thoughts colliding in his mind so he just thought of grabbing some juice from the kitchen. He didn't even have proper dinner because of Zarah and the condition she was in.

'You know what Allah(swt) says in the Quran'

As he exited his room, the heavy voice of a man reached in his ear, poking his heart and making him shiver till his end. It was haunting, the whole house was in darkness and that heavy voice felt like thrown at him. The narrator spoke some arabic words and Ryan rested his back with the wall, silently hearing the voice.

'That means-But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.'

Why those words felt so known to him when he didn't even touch the Quran for years. He surely had forgotten everything about it, related to it. But the meaning it felt like the God was talking to him. As if he listened his thoughts and now was answering him.

The darkness vanished as with a tick the light washed the whole room and he came back from his thoughts. Ryan didn't even know he had closed his eyes until he opened them to see Hanan looking at him with concern.

"Sorry bhai. Did I wake you up?"

Ryan gulped, shaking his head. The words still away from him to form proper statements.

"I-I had came for water. You still up?"

Ryan could see his eyes sore and red, perhaps due to crying but he didn't bring that up. They both knew each others' pain and behaved like they both were strong.

"Yes. I was just missing Hamida so I thought of listening to some motivation."

Hanan replied the truth while Ryan just nodded and felt quite embarrassed to ask him who was he listening to, what it was. Because he was an atheist and it shouldn't matter him what the religious people around him were doing!

***

"You okay?"

"Yup."

Zarah replied to Faiza who was putting up the nail paint on her finger nails. Doctors had advised her one week of total rest and with that she had been discharged from the hospital. She was ecstatic to come home and to be in her cozy bed.

Now she was sitting on the bed with the pillows stuffed up behind her back to give her a comfortable position and Faiza was pampering her. Four days in the hospital were too much to take, everything was boring and doctors had advised her to not to stress her eyes and mind. So she couldn't read and not watch any movie for now. So what she had to do, watch the old and pale walls of the hospital.

That man didn't return as she had expected from him. It was really not good the amount Zarah was thinking about him. Like he saved her life and she thanked him. All closed then why she was unable to move him away from her mind.

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