Finding Sage (Young Adult)

Ten: Look at Me When I'm Talking to You

Sage

"What was the best thing about Donovan?" Roxy asks me. She, Gillian and I are having girl talk back in my hotel room. They do not know this, but this is the first time I have had a girl night since I was seventeen, since before Donovan.

"What? There is nothing good about him. He's a complete asshole," I say, rolling on my back and looking up at the ceiling.

"No, really. Why were you with him for so long? What's the best thing about him?" Roxy asks again.

"The best thing about Donovan are his looks, but that's also the worst thing about him. He's so egotistical." I roll my eyes thinking about him.

"Okay then, tell us how you stayed with him for so long?" Roxy asks and I can tell the Gillian is curious too.

I roll over onto my side and rest my head on my hand. "Well, he was not always a jerk. He was all I had after my parents died. My sister disowned me as soon as I was out of the hospital. She blamed me for their death." I feel a pain of loneliness when I think about Gretchen. We used to be so close.

Gillian hands me some jellybeans and says, "I missed something. I thought your parents died in a car crash, drunk driver. How was that your fault?"

My stomach twists at her question. I pop a jellybean into my mouth wondering how honest I should be. "Well..." I start but stop speaking and roll onto my back.

"It's okay Sage. We're you're friends." Gillian says, reading my nerves like an open book.

With a deep breath, I roll back over and okay with some jellybeans while I speak. "I met Donovan when I was a senior. He came to teach figurative painting for my art class. He was the best-looking man I had ever seen and when he showed interest in me, I jumped at the chance to be with him. I knew my parents would hate it, and even though he was only a few years older, he was very rough and not rich enough for my parents. My sister told my dad that I was seeing him. My dad insisted on meeting Donovan. The meeting went horrible. Donovan rode up on his motorcycle and it had been raining, so he had mud on his clothes. My dad asked him what he wanted to do with his life, and he said paint. Nothing went right. Anyway, after he left my dad forbid me to have any more contact with him. I was heart broken.

Like a stupid teenager, I packed a bag, snuck out of my house and I ran away with Donovan. We were going to live happily every after in his shitty little apartment in New Jersey. He'd sell his horrible paintings are we would live off love." I roll over onto my stomach and toss a few pieces of candy into my mouth.

"I thought Donovan was everything my parents weren't. He was an artist, so free and full of passion. He didn't seem to care about money, or if my clothes were wrinkled or even if they matched. It seemed like he just liked me. But the truth is, he was broke and the only person that bought his work was his mother. In reality, Donovan's very materialistic, and very much into image and having things. The only difference is that he hates to spend his own money." I sit up and sit cross my legs on the bed.

"Late that night my parents came to steal me back. I told my sister, Gretchen, where I was so she could contact me and she promised not to rat me out. However, my father could be very persuasive and was able to get it out of her.

It was the worst night of my life, even to this day, its still the worst night. Donovan had just taken my virginity and it was horrible...I mean horrible. He did not know how to be gentle and blood was everywhere. My dad busted down the door and found me naked in the bloody sheets. He pulled me out of the bed, made me get dressed, and dragged me screaming from Donovan and our love nest." I roll my body down and cover my face for a moment, remembering the night. "My mother was so disappointed and upset and I've never seen my father so distraught. A drunk driver plowed into the side of my parent's car. We flipped about three times and went into a ditch..it was the last I saw of them." I look at both of their stunned faces. "I stayed with Donovan for too long trying to convince myself that he was worth it. I felt like admitting they were right, all along, was like I had actually killed them. Also, Donovan was all I had. Without Gretchen, I have no one. But, my parents were right. Donovan was everything they feared he was, and more. For six years, I've endured his torment."