No Regrets

Chapter Forty-Four - Unforgiven

KATIE'S POV

   I'm the first one to leave the courtroom, and I exit in a sprint to the nearest bathrooms. My stomach feels as if it's trying to eject itself. I bump into a stranger or two on the way; but most people see me coming and are quick to move out of my way.

   My legs giveaway almost immediately after I enter a stall. I kneel on the, probably germ-infested, floor in front of the toilet. Despite how sick I feel, nothing comes out. Not even a little bit. The tears start streaming down my face before I know it. I lean away from the toilet until my back is hitting the door of the stall. My shoulder start to shake and my body seems to naturally curl up on itself.

   Each second that passes, the more everything sinks in and it's unbearable; every single part of it. I should have known better than to have such high hopes; but I didn't. What did I expect? A judge to overlook all of the trouble Dominick has gotten within the past three years. The judge's decision makes all logical sense. In fact, I'm not so sure I wouldn't have decided the same thing if I were in their shoes.

   An unemployed single teenage-father with a criminal history of misdemeanors against two successful and well-respected members of society like the Wiltons. The winner is obvious. Yet, I was so overtaken by, what must have been, blind hope that I didn't see this coming. I got myself hurt, again; and worst of all, this time I'm not the only one who is going to be suffering.

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   Another splash of cold water hits my face, I reach for a paper towel to pat my face dry. I checked my watch, I've been in this bathroom for about twenty minutes. No one came in looking for me, a few strangers walked in to do their business. I'd do my best to mute my crying but the shakiness of my breath was clearly audible.

   I'm not the first and I won't be the last person someone would find crying in a bathroom stall in a courthouse. Somehow, I've managed to cry myself and dry off my face. I take a look in the mirror, my eyes aren't so puffy anymore. No more crying, once you step out there you're going to be strong and but on a brave face. I tell myself.

   I take a deep breath and repeat my 'no crying' rule to myself as my fingers wrap around the metal door handle. Stepping out into the hallway, a wave emotion almost pushes me back into the bathroom. Standing toward the end of the hallway with a social worker is Mrs. Wilton... with Mollie in her arms. Mollie is stares blankly from both the social worker to Mrs. Wilton. I'm glad that she's not scared, but she certainly isn't very happy.

   I resist the urge to walk over and scoop Mollie up from Mrs. Wilton's arms. I force myself to walk in the other direction, toward where my family is. I almost immediately spot Dad, he's talking with Mr. Samuel. I start walking over when I hear someone say my name, someone is the last person on this earth I want to hear from. I stop but I don't turn around or even look over my shoulder at them. "Go away." I growl under my breath.

"Katie, please know that I am so sorry. I didn't want things to go this way I-" Sawyer starts to say but is interrupted by my loud scoff.

"You didn't want things to go this way. You didn't want this!" I'm on the verge of screaming. I still don't' turn to face him. "Just go away, I'm going to be my family who's just lost a member thanks to you." My voice is lowered a bit but every letter is filled with venom. Sawyer doesn't say a word protest as I walk toward Dad.

   Dad must see me coming out of the corner of his eye, he outstretches an arm to me. I gratefully allow him to pull me into his embrace. He kisses the top of my head. "You okay, champ?" he asks giving me shoulder comforting squeeze.

   Champ has always been his nickname for me. I was born prematurely and was a champ by reaching my milestones early or at the least on time. Then, I joined sports and I might not have been the star athlete but I did well enough to keep me a champ in his eyes. In some ways, it's his way of telling me that I'm still his little girl.

"I'm fine." I say quietly.

"Such a strong girl." Dad says.

"Have you seen Dominick?" I ask.

  Dad lets out a loud sigh and he gives my shoulder another squeeze. "Your brother needs a moment alone." he says. "You want to get something from the vending machine? I have some change in my pocket."

  "I'm good. Thanks Dad." I say. I give him a quick one-armed hug before stepping away from his embrace. Mom is sitting on a bench sipping on some water, she's on the phone with someone. I walk over and sit myself down in the seat next to each other. She gives me a small smile, she points at the phone and mouths the word "work".

  I take her hand and give it a squeeze. She gives me a sad smile and continues talking on the phone. "I'll be back in the office on Wednesday. Give my apologies to Lisa. Okay, thank you honey. Okay. Bye." she hangs up the phone and lets out a loud sigh.

   She looks over at me and gently tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. She must see something by looking into my eyes because she says, "You're not the blame."

   I instantly want to deny that I'm feeling guilty, but I must have it written on my head for everyone to see. There's no point in lying, especially to my mom who is a lawyer and calls people out on lies for a living. "Mom, if I hadn't befriend Sawyer or more if I hadn't said anything to him... we might have been the ones celebrating." I say sadly.

   Mom rests her hand on my back. "Katie, there is no way to predict how things are going to go. You'll wear yourself out to the grave with the 'what ifs'. I know I did for a long time." she says.

   I open my mouth to say something when I see Dominick coming back inside from out front. He doesn't look as if he's been crying or like he's mad. His face doesn't giveaway to any emotion really. I watch as he starts towards the hallway. Something flashes across his expression when he sees something; I have a guess it involved a member of the Wilton family. He turns away and starts walking back towards the front door.

   I jump up from the seat and quickly make my way over to the front door. I catch him just as he's reaching for the door. I open my mouth to say something but I don't know what to say. I'm at a disadvantage by not being able to see what he's feeling. I don't know what if I need to explain myself or show comfort.

"Katie, leave me alone." Dominick says firmly.

I guess I need to explain myself. I think to myself. "Dominick, I had no idea that Sawyer was on the Wilton's side. I p-"

"Katie, shut up! I don't want to hear it or anything from you right now. Move." Dominick interrupts, he raises his voice.

I don't budge. "Okay, I'll move but could we please talk later?" I ask.

"What's the point? It's Sawyer's fault, right?" Dominick asks, he's beginning to show a bit of his anger. The direction is very clear. I move aside and he starts to push open the door. He stops for a second and looks at me. His eyes are cold. "Everything always seems to be everyone's fault, but everything that goes wrong seems to have a common denominator. Katie. Think about that, and then talk to me." He says before pushing the door open and walking out.

His words are the slap to the face that makes me come to a sickening realization. 

***AUTHOR'S NOTE***

Chapter Bundle 3/4

The next chapter will be from Dominick's POV. I'd type more but I can't think of anything to say.

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