Obsessed

Aspirations.

Song for this chapter: Fools by Troye Sivan.

Trigger warning- please do not read if you are easily triggered.
Remember I love you random citizen!

Aspirations...

At 1 I could crawl.
At 1 ½ I could walk.
At 2 I could talk.
At 3 I went to pre-school.
At 4 I went to primary school.
At 5 I started dance lessons.
At 7 I quit dance lessons.
At 8 I learnt the clarinet.
At 11 I went to middle school.
At 12 I quit the clarinet.
At 13 I got anxiety issues.
At 14 I went to high school.
At 15 my life went downhill.
At 16 I started self-harm.
At 17 I attempted to take my life.
At 19 I was diagnosed with depression.
At 20 I went to university.
At 23 I left university.
At 24 I moved into my own apartment.
At 25 my depression came back.
At 26 I over dosed on my medication.
At 27 I got put on 24 hour suicide watch.
At 28 I got submitted to a mental hospital.
At 29 my life seemed pointless.
At 30 I left this world.

Even when your life seems worthless, there will always be a thing worth living for.
I stayed alive for my family. I tried to get better for my friends.
I tried but no matter how hard I tried, I didn't make it over the last hurdle. Instead of jumping I tripped and fell.  I fell, never to get up again. Now I realise how hard life really is. I couldn't handle the pressure, the expectations.

When I'm sitting at home surrounded by my family, it makes me forget for a while. Forget about my depression, my anxiety, everything. It makes me feel normal. It makes me feel happy. Surrounded by the people who accept me and my illness. Without treating me any different. Without treating me like I'm a ticking time bomb. Waiting to explode.

Opening my eyes to see the usual sight.
The screams.
The blood.
The writing.
I've gotten used to it all.
In a sick way it's sort of home to me now.

A/N

I give up trying to revise.
It's not working.

Vote, comment, blah, blah, blah...

Love, newts_fangirlxx

Edited- 20/06/16