Semicolon: I'm Okay

II.

I doubt that she knows. I should really calm down. I gave her the what did I do face.

She looked in my eyes and said, "Mark, you are so getting uglier and uglier!"

WHAT!?

"OMG! Are u serious??" I chuckled.

"Yurp," she grinned.

"You're such an asshole. Do you know that," I returned the grin.

"Yea, but you love me though."

"Yes, yes I do," I said blushing, "so where is Ethan and Nathan?"
"I don't know, Mark. Am I the one who's supposed to keep a tab on the twins? No." she said whipping that hair.

Ethan and Nathan were the wildest people I have ever met. It's an amazement that we are best friends. We are complete opposites. I am quiet as a mouse if my friends aren't around me. You should be lucky to here me cough. I'm extremely shy. But whatever, who needs extra friends anyway. I have enough and I don't need anymore.

Just then, Ethan and Nathan came bursting through the red, cafeteria doors, almost trampling a small 10th grader.

"We are here! You may all continue your lives," they proclaimed together.

"Nobody cares about the gay bros," Exondia yelled.

The cafeteria bursted into laughter.

"Everybody, I'm bi, not gay. I can still take y'all girls," Nathan said, "so shut up. Ethan is the gay one."

Ethan shrugged and continued on his way.

Yes, the amigos were all back together again and now, we could continue our lives of being the outcasts. Well I was. I didn't talk to anyone. And nobody talked to me. To say I had charming good looks and a sweet personality, know one never really noticed me. Could it be because in the eyes everyone else, I'm not attractive.

Maybe I'm weird to them. Maybe I'm too smart. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm just boring. Maybe I am not enough.

Why won't they see me? By the way, are you still even reading? Because others wouldn't even give me the time of day. To them, I'm just a space holder. I was the opposite of visible.

But when I'm around my friends. I feel loved. Strange. Love is strange. Feels weird, you know?

"Dude? Are you alive," Nathan nudged me.

"Yea bro, my bad. Just thinking about that girl," I said, hoping my lies wouldn't show.

"Ew, girls are so yucky," Ethan shrieked.

"Shut up! They are girls, not cockroaches," his twin replied.

"Both of you guys shut up," Exondia interrupted, "so Mark, tell us about this girl. You haven't even noticed her until the end of junior year."

The girl?! The girl!? Let me tell you about this girl. Her name is May. And she is the most graceful creature I have ever seen!

She is so.. So... YOU DON'T KNOW! UGH! I DON'T EVEN KNOW!

"Oh, um. Yeah, she's pretty that's all," I shrugged.

"Mhm," Exondia grinned.

It started to get super awkward, so I had to change the subject. I should have never brought it up. Just before I could produce words from my mouth hole, the breath was drawn from my body.

There she was.

May.

Looking all pretty. Hair flowing. Eyebrows on fleek. Whatever that means... But omg. Who was the other guy?

Have you ever seen the one you liked in the arms of another? Well, I just did. And I didn't like it. Not one bit. It was like they both were dancing on my heart with cleats on. Just jumping on my fleshy soul. But what was I to do. I have never even worked up the courage to talk to her. But she wasn't gonna like me anyway. I mean, look at me. I look like a creepy, little weirdo with pretty eyes. That's it. Just eyes. That aren't even noticed! Like am I really that boring!?! Forget it, forget it.

"Ouch," Ethan hissed.

"It's okay. It's okay," I said.

I was trying so hard to hold back my tears. I'm a real emotional guys. YES! I AM AN EMOTIONAL GUY? Is that wrong does that make me less of a "man." Oh gosh. I'm getting ahead of myself again. Sorry. Anyway, I couldn't cope with the rush of emotions. I walked out of the the red doors with with my face pointed down.
Once, away from the scene, I found an empty part of the school. It was a bright hallway. Posters were all over the walls. The floors looked freshly polished and the blue lockers were squeaky clean. I found a small corner between a row of lockers. I sat. I sat and I cried...

I cried. And... And I cried. Stop crying, Mark! Stop it! Are you serious?! Man up! My thoughts were pelting me with bombs of selfcritism. You been should have talked to her! It's your fault. IT'S YOUR FAULT! I wiped my eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry Ally," I whispered.

Ally, she would never be proud of me. She would never be accepting of this. The bell rang. Ok, time for my first class. Let me catch myself.

I'm okay. I'm okay.