I Only Love You At Night (boyxboy)

o n e

"Are you guys sure that I'm not dreaming? That actually happened, back there?" One of my best friends, and my other best friend's boyfriend, Xavier, was looking down at his hands in disbelief.

Amera, other said best friend, gently placed her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to stop and look at her. "If you ask one more time, I'm gonna drag you into the bath tub and scrub you clean myself." She threatened.

Which only made him pull away from her, holding his own hands protectively. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, but I would!"

"C'mon, Amera, let him be excited, you know he's too antisocial to ever let this happen, again." I laughed, pulling her off of him before she could actually climb on top of him.

She gave him the evil eye, but let go. "You got lucky Ben was here or else."

They continued to squabble and bicker back and forth at each other as we left the small -and our town's only- concert venue and headed towards my jeep. "Are you two gonna make it through the night alive?"

"That relies entirely on if Xavier keeps quiet about his hands." She pointed a threatening finger at him from the front seat.

"Well it's not everyday that a famous person touches my hands, now is it?" He mocked her.

"We barely ever get anybody famous in this town as it is," I rolled my eyes. "Amera, stop the threats. Xavier, unless you're gonna get handsy with her, keep your hands - and hand comments - to yourself. I'd like there not to be a homicide on the board in the hallway tomorrow, got it?"

They grumbled but agreed and I began driving them home. We lived in the same apartment complex but on opposite sides of the building, so I dropped them off and then parked in my spot before unlocking my apartment and going in. I tossed myself on my bed and let out a groan.

As fun as they were, concerts were exhausting, especially when I had a class at 7:30 in the morning, and it was almost 12:45 right now. God, when did I become such a Grandpa? I had just started falling asleep when I heard my front door open, and then another body crash landed on the bed next to me.

"How was the concert?" Came his muffled voice.

"It was okay." I sighed and rolled over on to my back but faced him.

"Just okay?" He picked his head up to look at me. "Why just okay?"

"Because I would've liked to take you with me, but instead I got stuck with Amera and Xavier who I know are just gonna fuck-it-out later."

"I'm sorry," He sighed. "But you also promised that you wouldn't make a big deal out of it because-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, it was already her night." I rolled off the bed to stand up and away from him so that he wouldn't be able to see me rolling my eyes at him.

"Well," He climbed over to my side of the bed, wrapping his arms around my waist, "I'm here now," he let his hand start to wander south while kissing the nape of my neck but the overwhelming smell of floral perfume made me wrinkle my nose.

"Tomorrow's my early class," I bit my bottom lip as his hand broke the barrier, his warm hands on my even warmer part. He quickened his hand, and I could feel the pre-cum already beginning to flow, I couldn't even protest, it felt too good. "Can I touch you?" I put my hands behind me, over his obvious bulge.

He hesitated, his hand stopping for a second before starting again. "Ben..." He said, weakly.

That made me snap to my senses real fast. My hips, involuntarily bucking into his hand, still. "Right, how could I forget, I'm not allowed to get you off -"

"Don't be like that," He quickened his pace again, trying to distract me as he kissed against my neck.

But I was over it, I pulled away from him, with at least part of my dignity still intact. "I'm going to bed."

"Benny, please-"

"I know how you feel, and you know how I feel." I clicked the light off and then shooed him back to his side before laying down, pulling the covers up to my chin, turning away from him to face the wall. But that didn't hide the fact that my tent was still pitched. "It's whatever. Just go to sleep." It was a few minutes until I felt the bed dip in, and then he tugged me closer to him, and begrudgingly, I let him, his arms wrapping around my stomach and staying there.

"We could do something tomorrow." He said after a few minutes of silence, nestling his face into the crook of my neck.

I hesitated. "Are you gonna be here when I get home?"

"It's not like I have anything else going on."

"I'll be home around 1." I said and he kissed my cheek and then moved back a little bit, still holding me, though. I waited to see if he'd say anything else, but instead, I could hear his gentle breathing.

☆

Jordan and I had been dating for 6 years, our relationship starting when we were both barely 14. When I say dating, I like to use the term extremely loosely, because for the last 4 years, I'd been sharing the love of my life with someone else.

Just 2 years after we'd started, he had somehow outed himself, accidentally, to his parents that were extremely against us dating, and just him being gay in general. They'd promptly sent him to live with his aunt and uncle, who love and treat him like he's their own. But, being devastated by his parents' reaction, he somehow got it into his head that if he was dating a girl, his parents would accept him, again. Because then he was "straight," so when the first girl in sophomore year asked him out, he accepted all too eagerly. He'd explained it to an extremely naïve 16-year-old Benny who just wanted his boyfriend to be happy and loved, that she'd be a cover-up, and nothing else. Except they still didn't want anything to do with him. And then he got too comfortable in both relationships.

So he stayed in both. And as much as I really hated sharing him, I let him. But thanks to his parents causing the trauma, he was too scared to come out - which I understood, completely - except to our small group of friends. But that also caused him to not really want anything to do with me.

Well, that wasn't necessarily true. He was fine with touching me, but I couldn't reciprocate, and it was the most frustrating thing to me.

But what could you do when your parents hated you and you still only wanted nothing more than to make them love you?