Life As A Big Girl

Chapter 12

I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I got the months of May. ~ The Temptations

6 months later

King POV

Dang man, LaLa still hasn't woken up yet. It hurts me to the core that my sister fighting for her life. Sha is around 8 months pregnant and aggravating. Her ass needs to sit down somewhere, she needs to realize she is pregnant and not doing things that people that are not pregnant do. She is never home, always out clubbing or hanging with her ratchet "friends". I'm getting sick and tired of it. Ever since she got the hospital she hasn't seen LaLa which is strange because that's cousin and supposedly best friend. Something is up and I will find out, believe that.

I needed to relax my mind and not think about anything. I decided to go to the trap house and check on everything while I am there I will have a lil smokin' session you feel me.

I went into my room and locked the door. I don't need a two dollar bimbo to come give me a dirty lap dance or give me head. I'm loyal to my girl 110%. I got a girl that can do all of that and once these hoes give you top and shit, they try to claim your ass. Like hell to Nah to the Nah Nah Nah. Some niggas can let that fly, but I refuse to start any drama if I can prevent it. That's being a man thinking with my head and not my other one *wink wink*.

I pulled out my personal stash, I keep for the bad times. I started to roll up one and lit it up. Went to my phone and started to play Don't by Bryson Tiller. Yes, I have a little sensitive side, not everything upbeat and all that ish. I prefer R&B and slower songs over trap music. I just started to vibe to the music while I'm smokin'.

Don't, don't play with her, don't be dishonest

Still not understandin' this logic

I'm back and I'm better

I want you bad as ever

Don't let me just let up

I wanna give you better

Baby, it;s whatever

Somebody gotta step up

Girl, I'm that somebody

So I'm next up

Be damned if I let him catch up

It's easy to see that you're fed up

I am on a whole 'nother level

Girl, he only fucked you over cause you let him

Fuck him, girl, I guess he didn;t know any better

Girl, that man didn't show any effort

Do all I can just to show you you're special

Certain it's your love that holds me together

Lately you say he been killin' the vibe

Gotta be sick of this guy

Pull up, skurt, get in the ride

Left hand is steerin' the other is grippin' your thigh

Light up a spliff and get high

Shorty, you deserve what you been missin'

Lookin' at you I'm thinkin' he must be trippin'

Play this song for him, tell him, "Just listen"

I was really feelin' this song. This song does something to me every time I listen to it. Sometimes I have this feeling that Imma have to live through this song one day. I finished smoking and went to the bathroom. For some reason, I have to pee after I finished smoking. I peed and went to the sink to wash my hands. I looked in the mirror and looked at my reflection. I don't like what I see. I look like shit. I haven't slept since LaLa and Sha got hurt, I keep reliving it over and over every time I close my eyes. How can you be so cold-blooded and so hard, that so-called "thug", but you feel like this? Just because I do those things doesn't mean it haunts me in my dreams. It hurts when I see my family like that. The bags under my eyes, the need of a touch-up on my dreads, my eyes red, and my appearance in general. This has been an emotional roller coaster. Finding out Sha was pregnant was the best news a brother can hear. I mean no I'm not ready for a child, but I will not be like my father and leave my child fatherless. Imma be in my child's life.