The state that I'm in. (BEING EDITED)

Dare

Hi again everybody! Very small but it's worth it.(I think )
Come on be sweethearts and push that star. Give me some joy people. Love you!
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When my phone flashed Rose's name I had been lying on Harry's bed for exactly eight hours and eleven minutes. I had declined lunch and snacks approximately five times until the Styles's realised I wouldn't move a muscle until he came back.
I answered Rose only to tell her that something came up and I would take a taxi to our apartment. I knew I had finals the next day but to be absolutely honest I didn't really care. The only thing that truly mattered was that Harry was not at home like he said he would be.
It was ten at night and he was still out. Getting up to use the toilet I found Mr. Styles watching TV. Startled he stood up and almost knocked down the tea cup he had on the wooden coffee table in front of him. He looked at me with sad eyes.

"Val, sweetie...I think you should go home. He is obviously not coming. Don't you have school tomorrow? I thought it was exam period now..." he said and his voice was so low like he was trying so hard not to hurt me.

"It is...but I am staying until he shows up" I replied firmly but keeping a polite tone.

"OK honey. I am here if you need anything" he said without leaving his eyes from me, waiting for me to break down but I didn't, at least not then.

When I went back to the room I sat on the bed, my back pressing the headboard, my knees bent, my arms around them. Before me flashed scenes of our times together, this month away from him had been absolute torture and I was exhausted in all areas, physically, mentally you name it. The thought that I was jeopardizing my finals didn't affect me one bit. I simply didn't care. All I wanted to do was see him. One look and I would know. I waited and waited in the same position rocking back and forth from time to time feeling numb...I waited and waited and then I waited some more. The sun went down and came back up and I was still there waiting...

I had ten text messages from Rose and nine missed calls. I texted her back saying that I would see her in class at the exams. I didn't want her to worry about me. I didn't want to deal with that at that moment. To be honest I simply didn't fucking care.She probably thought that Harry and I couldn't take our hands off of each other. The irony...

When my mobile phone alarm went off at 7:30 am I just switched it off immediately and was not phased by the fact that I was miles away from where the exams would take place. I hadn't slept at all. I couldn't ...I just couldn't.

At 7:45 Harry came home. I heard the sound of the bike nearing the garage of his house. The engine died and he neared the door unlocking it.

There were whispers in the living room that I could easily make out. I didn't stand up. Again I wasn't able to.

"She's still here?...No way!" he said in a voice that I hardly recognised. So he knew I was here. His dad must have called him. He knew and he didn't come. He chose not to come. The power of the word choose was overwhelming at that point.

"She is still here...You better talk to her or...or...I don't know" his father scolded him as if  he was five.

I am not a native speaker of English so I don't know if the following phrase is lost in translation but I felt that the sky collapsed and fell on me breaking me into tiny pieces. The questions in my head were driving me crazy. I heard him coming closer and closer...His steps slow, light, fearing confrontation. He opened the door and it was only then that I was able to lift my eyes from the dresser that was opposite.

"Val...?" he said in a whisper.

I looked straight to his eyes mine blazing with both fury and disappointment.

"Who is she?" was the only thing that came out of my mouth and the only thing that really mattered at that point.