rants !!

rmh ; pt 2 of many

i want to be w you. i want to hug u and hold u and kiss u and feel ur arms wrapped around me. i want to watch netflix w you and see u laugh at all the stupid jokes i make even though they aren't funny. i want to see u smile and make u feel better when u don't feel like smiling. i want u to feel comfortable enough around me to cry if u want but ik u wont want to because u hate it. i want to be able to text u in the middle of the night when i'm sad and u send me a text saying u will be right over and just climb through my window at 3 am not afraid of my parents knowing and just hold me all night. the feelings i have for you are like world war 2, fighting and conflicting and confusing ; but ur as neutral about ur feelings for me as switzerland is. i guess what i'm trying to say that i want u to want me more than u dont. i wish u would just make up your mind already. maybe u dont want to. maybe ur enjoying this. being free but still have a girl to talk to and have be sweet to you. but i'm not. i hate this feeling of not knowing if u still like me because theres no way besides asking me to be yours to let me know that you do. i wish and wish and wish every 11:11 and on every eyelash and every dandelion for u to want me as much as i want you, but u don't even seem to notice. normally i would give up by now, but ur different. i guess i'll just keep wishing.