Fallen Angel

Chapter 11: Play Pretend

I immediately regretted my decision. I mentally smashed my head against a wall as we walked to my place. I couldn't help but wonder... what if I couldn't handle myself? Note to self; you've never had great self control over anything. And to live with myself for at least one night more (for Olette's sake), I promised myself this time would be different. 

But what was different? It would be the same as always. We, even if not doing anything at all, would become good friends, and then we'd be together before we even knew it. Namine all over. 

I cringed as I thought about the blonde girl I loved, and still love. Olette observed absolutely everything, and immediately noticed me wincing. She stopped and leaned closer to me to look at me. "What's wrong?" her eyes were full of sadness, compassion, and care. 

I suddenly had the urge to tell her everything that happened- to warn her. She deserved better than me. But my mouth wouldn't move, so instead we stood there for a minute in silence. I finally found my voice, and barely muttered, "Headache..." 

"Let's get you home." She said the words softly and kindly. Nevertheless, I felt like I had to puke.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Not even ten minutes into the movie, we had our bodies pressed against each other. Her breath ran across my face, sending chills through the rest of my body. This was not the plan! The warmth of her body against me excited me anyways. She nudged my chin up with her nose playfully.  

"Roxas? What's wrong?" she genuinely asked. I hadn't realized I was frowning until she spoke up. 

"Nothing, Olette, it's just that-" 

"I want you. Badly." She interrupted by putting one finger over my mouth, and another traced circles along my chest. She nibbled on my ear, then pressed her lips up against mine.  

Honestly, I missed being loved. I missed Namine. I missed being wanted, being touched, being truly close to someone. So when Olette kissed me, static raced through my body. She pulled back for a second. "Mmmm..." she moaned, but her eyes told me something different. They were filled with curiosity, fear, and even want, but not lust.  

She leaned in to kiss me again, but this time it was my turn to stop her. Her lips were merely millimeters from mine when I whispered, "Why are you doing this? You know you don't want to." 

Her eyebrows scrunched up as she thought of what to say next. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "There's no hiding anything from you. There never was. It's just..." She hesitated, choosing her words wisely, "I... don't want to be a loser anymore. You are my gateway." 

I raised an eyebrow. "You're not a loser, Olette. You're-" 

"No! You haven't been here! You don't know... when you left... they..." She got up and paced across the room, lost in her memories. "They wouldn't leave me alone. They made jokes about you and me, and when the topic of 'you' became uninteresting to them, they picked on me more. I'm stuck with a rep for being a goody-two-shoes just because I'm smart and care about values. When you came back, I saw it as an opportunity to lose the nicknames. If I dated the new rebellious badboy, and pretended not to care anymore... maybe I'd have more friends than I can count on one hand again." 

I looked at her face. She suddenly seemed years older. Her eyes had gotten dark with worry, had face wrinkled with concern. I earned a small smirk when I said, "You know that's a lie. You only wanted to date me because I'm smokin'!" I flexed my muscles as she giggled. 

"Oh, of course!" She said condescendingly. Her face turned to a more serious one as she said, " I must say, however, you grew up to be not half bad looking." 

"So I was an ugly child? Gee, thanks." We both laughed as I took mock pain from her harmless comment. This is the way it should be. 

Then a thought hit me. "If you believe in values so strongly, why did you compromise them tonight?" 

She got defensive. "The cause was justified." 

"Do you have any values about lying?" 

"Roxas," She said in a sing-song voice, "What are you up to?" 

"Okay. So, what if we pretended to be together to get your rep up? Then you break up with me because I was too lame for you, or something." 

"Well... technically the cause would be justified there too. Right... boyfriend?" 

"Olette, it's just us here. You don't have to say that." 

"Oh right." Her face started to flush with red. "And, uh, Roxas? This is really cool of you to do for me. Thanks a ton." She leaned in again and gave me a quick kiss. "Uh... that was... for practice." She explained unusually quickly. I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention to the movie.