~ Tear Stains ~

As I sit down in the seat of the car that will drive my to the home of my new foster family, the world around me suddenly vanishes as I am drowned in the pool of memories that is my past. The things that have lead my life up to this point. They are so vivid, so clear. It's almost as if I am watching them play out in front of me like a film.

It was six years ago- I was only eight years old when my mother and father died. They were going on vacation to Hawaii. My Aunt Victoria was taking care of me while my parents were away. Two weeks later, I was excited for my parents' return home, but little did I know that I would in fact never see their faces again. I would never again feel their embraces or be tucked in bed at night. At the time, I was just a happy child excited to see my parents, as they had never been away for such a long time before.

But later that evening, my aunt answered the phone. I ran over to her, chattering on about my broken doll. That's when I saw the look on her face. The only time I had ever seen that look was when my dad found out that my great grandfather had died. Suddenly, I felt scared. The glass of water my aunt Victoria was holding escaped from her grasp and shattered about the floor as she took in the words I was straining so desperately to hear. Tears rolled down her cheeks and it was becoming hard to understand. I was confused and afraid. As my aunt placed the phone back on its reciever, she was sobbing and sliding slowy down the wall. I felt a lump in my throat and tears well in my eyes. I knew that something was terribly wrong. 

I poked her shoulder and she looked at me. "When are Mom and Dad coming home?" I asked her. Aunt Victoria began to sob louder. I began to cry as well. "Auntie, why are you crying? What's the matter with you?" She reached out her arms to draw me near. I sat in her lap and looked up at her.

"Isabelle, your parents aren't coming back--" She began, "they- they were caught in a storm," She was struggling to speak. "Why? What are you talking about?" I said, nearly yelling. I was sobbing now. I let out a wail. "Why aren't they coming back? What are you talking about, Tori?" Victoria wiped her eyes. "Listen, Izzy, your mom and dad loved you very much." She said. What does she mean, 'loved'? I looked up at her once again, my sad, round eyes searching her. "There was a terrible storm, Izzy. While you parents were flying back in the plane, it crashed. They went down with it." Her gaze was cast at the floor as she said it. "What do you mean, went down with it? Did they-" I couldn't bear to say that word. I could tell it was hard for my aunt as well. "They've passed away. I'm so sorry." She said, sobbing and wailing once again.

After she said that last sentence, I remember the worst feeling of sadness I had ever felt. I ached inside, and I didn't want to believe her. "You're lying!" I said, "They're not even dead, you're lying!" I was sobbing so much it hurt, but I ran away as fast as I could. We lived out in the country then, so I ran into the woods. My secret place. There had been a worn down trail of where I had ran and played so many times. As I ran to the old broken down tree fort, I tripped on a tree root and fell, but I got right back up. When I was back on my feet, I shimmied up the tree nearest my fort as fast as my body would let me. When I got to the fort, I sat down on the worn wooden surface and sobbed. For how long, I can't remember. But that night, I remember waking up shivering. I was cold and alone. A little girl deep into the woods by herself in the night. I was absolutely terrified. I waved my hand in front of my face and I could scarcely see it. I knew this was bad. But then a warning bell rang in my head. Then a memory. My mother. My parents were always afraid I'd wander too far into the woods and get lost, but my mother told me this: "Isabelle, if you are ever lost and don't know which way to go, the best thing to do is stay put and wait to be found." And so I did. I must have drifted off, because th last thing I rememeber was early morning light and a man's voice calling out, "We found her!" And another saying, "Hey! Everyone, we've got Izzy!" The man then carried me in his arms and placed me in his truck.