Barefoot and Backwards

Chapter 1

I have never believed in heaven.

Actually, to be quite honest, I've never really believed in anything. Not Santa, not the Tooth Fairy, not the Easter Bunny, nothing.

One might say this is because I have a more scientific way of thinking, which is partially true (because honestly? A large rabbit hiding easter eggs around your house? That's not normal.)  But actually, I think it's more due to the fact that I just can't bring myself to even want to believe in anything.  I'm perfectly happy without believing in any sort of afterlife, so why would I push myself to decide there was?

Anyways, you might find this a strange way for me to introduce myself, but right now, more than anything I have begun to ponder my own beliefs on this matter.

Today is the first Saturday of June. Sophomore year has 5 days left, and a week ago I would have told you that at 11:30 am, on a Saturday morning, I, Jasper Greyson, would be sitting in my pajamas groggily watching reruns of some cartoon from the 90's and maybe eating a bowl of applejacks. But, a week ago, Viviana Reed was alive and nobody here had envisioned themselves sitting around a casket in formal wear.  At least, I sure as hell didn't. 

It's pretty weird,how life works.  You can make your life as comfortably predictable as you want, but that doesn't change the fact that there are some things that you just can't see coming.

This funeral, for instance, is one of those things.

I personally wasn't very close to Viviana. We both went to the same high school and lived in the same neighborhood, but our interaction with one another did not extend much past simply passing in the hallways. This does not mean I do not feel completely awful for what her family must be going through and all that, but that kind of thing is sort of just being a decent human being.  I consider myself to be a decent human being, just as much as any average person would.

Also, I learned something about myself today: I really dislike funeral homes. I mean of course no one ever really wants to be in one, considering the circumstances, but I happen to be incredibly terrible at comforting people. And isn't that exactly what people hold funerals for? To be comforted? My lack of talent in this area was especially tested when Mrs. Reed, Vivana's mother, as well as my mothers close friend, came over to where I was sitting.

"Oh, Jasper, thank you so much for coming today.  You have no idea how much I appreciate having you here. I'm sure she would have too." At that her already very red, puffy eyes seemed to swell with tears one again and she took the kleenex in her hand and dabbed them both slowly.

"Uh, yea it's no problem..." I scratched the back of my head hoping to find the right words to console her with. "I'm so sorry for your loss" was what I ended up saying. I'm a real charmer, can you tell?  I stood up as she wrapped me in a hug (which, honestly I wasn't too thrilled about- I've never been much of a hugger) and tried to think of something nice and genuine to say, but to no avail.

"I'll see you and your family around," she said, giving my shoulder a squeeze and turning to talk to someone else.  I nodded and looked around for my parents, but there were too many people and I decided that they would be able to find me if I went and sat in the hallway, where the oxygen didn't seem so stale and tainted with the scent of flowers.

It wasn't surprising to find a few people talking in the hallway as well, but luckily they paid no attention to me as I walked passed them. Not seeing any chairs, I decided just to lean on the wall and hope nobody questioned me.  I hate when people ask stupid questions.  Like, don't you have places to be?  Hobbies, perhaps?

I was just about to play a game on my phone when I felt something small hit my foot. I stuffed my phone back into my pant's pocket and bent down to pick it up. It was flat, round, black, and I had no idea what it was.

"Excuse me, could you hand that to me?" A soft voice came from across the hallway. I was surprised to see a girl, about my age maybe, with blond hair sitting on the steps leading to the second floor. Her legs were crossed and she was holding some kind of camera in her hands. But that wasn't what threw me off- her outfit did. She was wearing blue jean overalls and white sneakers. Not your typical funeral home attire. Was she even here for the service?  She looked sort of uncomfortable, like she wasn't exactly here by choice.

It wasn't until she cleared her throat that I realized she was staring at me with large, expectant eyes.

"Wha- Oh yea." I walked across the hall to where she was sitting. "Here's your..."

"Lens cap," she said, extending her arm to take it from my hand. "Thanks." She smiled and then looked back down and began to fumble with her camera once again. I wondered if maybe I should say something else, but decided against it and started to walk back to where I had been standing prior.

"Wait!" Once again her voice sounded from the steps and I spun around to face her.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Would you mind if I took a picture of you? Well actually, your feet. It's for a project."

Okay, so this girl might be a bit insane. And I was at kind of a loss for words. Unsurprisingly.

"My feet?" I blurted out, like the total moron that I was.

She half smiled and looked back down at her shoes.

"Yea, my project is about the first thing you notice when you meet a person. I mean, it's a bit more elaborate than that but I doubt you really care to hear it. So do you mind? If I take a picture of your feet? You can leave your shoes on." She held her camera a bit above her lap and looked at me again, her head tilted slightly.

Glancing down at my slightly scuffed dress shoes, I decided, sure she could take a picture, if it would help her with her project, or whatever. 

"Sure. Go ahead." I nodded down at her and she lifted her camera to her face, aimed the lens at my shoes, and clicked the button that presumably took the picture.

"This will do. Thanks." She said looking down at the viewfinder of her camera.

"No problem. And actually I wouldn't mind to hear more about your project. I've got nothing to do." I took a seat on the step below her and leaned on the opposite wall. If she was going to take a picture of my feet, I think I at least deserved a clear explanation.  Plus, it did sound kind of interesting, I guess.

Her eyes widened momentarily but she quickly turned to face me, the faint trace of a smile on her face. 

"Okay, then. It's for a class I'm taking-"

"Amelia?" She was cut short by the sound of Mrs. Reed's voice from down the hallway.

The girl immediately jumped up and got off the steps, and I did the same, unsure of her sudden change. Was she Amelia? How did she know Mrs. Reed?

Turning to me she said, "Sorry, I have to go, but maybe I'll see you around school." She turned and began to walk towards Mrs. Reed.

Around school? Did she even go to my school? I had definitely never seen her there, and something about her told me she wasn't a face I'd easily forget.

"Over here, mom." She said.

Wait, mom? Amelia was Mrs. Reed's daughter? Which meant... Oh man... She was Viviana's sister. She was here for her sister's funeral... and taking pictures of peoples feet.  It's like I said, there are some things that you just can't see coming.  And this was just the beginning of many.

Authors Note:
I have edited this chapter a hundred times, and will most likely edit it a hundred more.  The first chapter is always the most difficult for me to write, and I also know how important it is in setting the stage for the rest of the story.  Please feel comfortable leaving any comments, questions, or constructive criticism that you may have!  Thank you.