The letters that were never sent

I want to tell you so much that I want to be yours but I can't. I don't have enough courage to. I want to tell you to stay and hold me close when you visit.

I love seeing the sparkle in your eyes. They make you look more beautiful and I fall in love with you even more.

I haven't seen the sparkle in your eyes for the longest and now they are back. I just wish I knew why they came back. Why were they gone in the first place?

Anyways, I love your new haircut. I love how your hair sometimes falls in your face. And how your teeth sparkle. They sparkle like the stars in the sky at night.

Your sparkly blue eyes that remind me of rivers. I hate it when you look at me because my knees start to go numb and I don't know what to say or do.

I love seeing you everyday outside of school. But you're not here for me. You're here for my older brother, Mikey. One day I just hope that you come to see me. Not him.

If only you would talk to me and we became really close. Then you would know me and what I think.

You would see what is behind all the dark make-up, I'm a fragile girl on the inside. I don't let anybody see me truly because they would just hurt me. I have to be strong and try to not care.

Not caring seems like the only thing to do in order for not to hurt. It is easy to not care because I really don't care about anything in this world.

Well anything besides you.

Yeah I know that sounds cliché but its true. I always think about you and hope that in the future we get married together.

We could have beautiful children and we can watch them grow and accomplish many great things.

And as they do all the wonderful things, we can age together and watch them create families of there own.

Then they will feel our love. The love that I had from the first moment you wiped away my tears.

I remember that night you made me promised to be strong. Not just for you but mainly for me.

I kept my promise but where are you. I love you and miss you. I love everything about you.

From your perfect white teeth to the scars on your face. I remember when your younger sister gave them to you.

You two would fight like cats and dogs abut always made up because I wouldn't talk to either of you until you guys made up.

But now I feel like I don't matter to you. That I'm just one small memory that isn't important.

But I don't care. I'll love you until the end.

I know this letter with never be sent and you will never read this but what I really want to know is why?