Disconnected

He's Back

There is a part that may be triggering to some people, so please don't read this if you think it may trigger something. Remember that you are perfect just the way you are and I love you. <3

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It's been a week since my brothers funeral and a week since I got that awful text. The texts didn't stop there though, I got them daily and sometimes more than once. They were usually along the line of the same thing telling me how his death was all my fault, how I should kill myself, how I don't deserve to live. And the thing that I hate most is that I let this person get to me. I tore myself apart because I believed them. Everything they said was true. I later found out who's number this was, it was my brother's girlfriend. If you could even call her that. She was horrible, a complete bitch is putting it nicely. But my brother was a good guy and didn't want to break her heart. She was head over heels for him and would never leave him alone. He tried breaking up with her one time and she threatened to kill herself if she didn't take him back. Sadly he did and ever since then she thought she was better than me. She thought she owned him. I tried being nice to her for my brothers sake but she made it impossible. Eventually I just gave up.

It was Saturday afternoon and I was sitting up in my room still not wanting to leave as I stared at the most recent text:

From Rachael:
You should do everyone a favour and go kill yourself.

Those words stung a lot. Tears were starting to form in my eyes as I dropped my phone onto my bed and walked over to my desk. I searched for one of my sharpeners and after a few moments or digging through my drawer I finally found one. I unscrewed the two nails and soon enough the metal blade was free. I promised myself I would never do this but things were just getting too much and I needed to feel something, anything. I locked myself in my bathroom and sat on the cold tile floor. I gripped the small, cool metal blade in my shaky hand and placed it against my wrist. I felt a stinging sensation spread throughout my wrist as I looked down at the damage I did. There was very little blood starting to appear from the small cut which made me feel weak. I slammed the back of my head against the door and tears started to pour out. Soon every single insecurity I had ever had came rushing into my mind as I looked back down at my wrist and dragged the blade across it again, and again, and again. Soon enough my arm was covered in red, bloody marks. I dropped the blade as I examined my arm. 'I can't believe what I just did. How am I ever supposed to hide this from anyone? I'm so pathetic.' Were a few things that filled my mind. I shakily stood up and washed my arm in the sink. It hurt like hell but I knew I shouldn't let the blood dry up. I found some old tenser wrap and tightly wrapped it around my arm as I made my way back to my bed.

I was just about to fall asleep as my phone went off. I sighed searching for it somewhere on my covers. When I found it I checked the caller ID but it was a number I didn't recognize. I debated wether or not to answer but I had a feeling that I should. I pressed the accept button and slowly brought it up to my ear. "Hel- hello?" I choked out, my voice dry and raspy from all the crying.

"Hey it's Luke," a cheery voice replied.

I didn't recognize the voice at all but they had a thick Australian accent. "Luke who?" I asked, confusion clear in my voice. I don't recall knowing any Luke's, well none that would have my number anyway.

The voice was hesitant to answer, but when they did I almost passed out, "Luke Hemmings"

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Hey I hope you all had a good day! Hopefully this part is okay, feedback would be greatly appreciated! :)
~Laryssa