Karkat x Reader : His Doki's...

You got K.O'd buddy

You just got K.O'd bud. By who? Fuck if I know, plot doesn't exist here. Who needs to know who the fuck K.O'd you, and WHY they K.O'd you. It's just time to see where you wake up. ;) Winky face.

After that long dream about people not giving you hot chocolate, you gradually wake up. You toss and turn but then stop to realize, you are in some SLIMY business BUD. Sure, it may be warm but fuck is it weird. WHY the FUCK are you covered in slime? Well, that's what the BRAIN and EYES are for. So go fucking use them. So you did. Opening your eyes to find yourself in green slime. You shot up from the fucking slime infested hell hole, just to find yourself NAKED. All of this is getting you quite paranoid. Immediately your eyes are darting about the room trying to figure out where in the name of the demonic pumpkins you could be.

Your trusty colored flesh globes reward you with the site of, what's that? CLOTHES. Your legs suddenly gain a mind of their own and begin to sprint towards the clothes that beckon to you so. ADRENALINE. Heart beating like a galloping horse, you are almost going to be, NOT NAKED. However a enemy approaches. You hear footsteps in the distance and SCREECH like a eagle protecting one's preshiooiuuuss babbbiieeesssssssssssss <3 <3 <3 lmao!!!!1!1 dunt stehl meh bebehs :3 !! i whale kehll chu!!! lol lol !! X'DDDDDDDD

You are going to put a shirt on, but then you realize, THESE SEEM KIND OF FAMILIAR...

" OH GOOD, YOU'RE AWAKE. "

IT'S TOO LATE. You are in the NUDIES. You let out a horrid roar but then regret it, once you realize that this specific shirt that you chose also has a mind of it's own. What does this mean? It means it sacrificed it's purity for a dirty flesh monkey like yourself, and protected you from THE NUDIES. Thanks shirt.

Shaking and aching with udder terror, you turn to see KAKAROT- *Karkat Vantas. You shrug trembling, sweat pouring out of you like fire hoses.

"PshHH- oH My GOG kakAaRARttTT LMAO AYY y Y- ", but suddenly the dark forces of the mighty pumpkins cause you to grab your head, for this thing called 'pain' shot through that big skull of yours. " PAIN Oh MY GOD- Hh hhh o OOlLy FUCK- "

" HOLY GARGLING PIECE OF ACIDIC DIARRHEA, DO YOUR POOR MONKEY BODY A FAVOR AND STOP MOVING. " He hollered. " You could have a concussion! "

You laugh, very, very, very loudly, just for the fucker could hear. You got a lot of questions for the piece of gargling waste. But before you do that, he's holding you in his tender beef arms in a attempt to calm your raging scene. Yes, very  beefy. So much so, these dangling arms could be the meat in tomorrow's McDonalds. You come to the conclusion to actually stop moving. It's, actually kind of nice.. NO FUCK WAIT-

" U uh.. actually??? :) sweaty  :) I need to go back to .. . my hive.. "

" UH, ACTUALLY??? YOU ARE THE ONE COVERED IN SLIME. FUCK ME RIGHT UP MY WASTE SHOOT MARIO, BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT IN THIS STORY YOU'RE THE SWEATY. ALSO, YOU GOT PUNCHED DIRECTLY IN- "

" deez nuts "

" ARE THEY OKAY. "

" Yea, it's no problem man, don't worry about it. "

" OH. "

" EyyyyuuuUUU- "

" SO LETS CUT TO THE CHASE, 'PAL'. WHO WOULD DARE INJURE YOU LIKE FIST MISSILES TO THE FACE? AND STOMACH. AND- "

" deez nuts "

" YES. THOSE, NUTS... "

There was a pause. He eyes down to 'those nuts'. Terror were in his eyes. You push him back gently, giving a sigh, then conveniently looking up at him like a parent about to say something like, ' Your friend? Tommy? Tell him he can eat my ass. '

" I mean, ", you looked away avoiding the eye fleshies. " Does it really matter? I can handle deez nuts just fine Karkat. Not like you have the capacity to care about me. "

He cringed, groaning, then rolling his eyes to the ceiling. You were actually pretty surprised he had the ability to stretch his eyeballs that far! It's kinda sexy. However, although his ability was QUITE attractive, you were uneasy about how he was acting. Something seemed off.

" Euh- so rry i shoulda worded that differe ntl y- "

" NO, NO. I APPLAUD YOU IN YOUR EFFORTS. BUT, " he kneels down before you, causing you to be really confused. " YOU REALLY SHOULD LAY DOWN, YOUR HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE WITH STUPIDITY AT THIS RATE. "

You take in a deep breath. Confusion, fear, disgust, embarrassment, sadness, all these emotions dwelling within you all at once. You just don't want your fucking Furby to be wreaking havoc back at the hive. WAIT- was he worried you were going to explode? Psh. What a idiot, but... he really has a soft side for exploding people huh? He isn't that bad after all.

No, that can't possibly be it. So you rest your cheeks on the side of the recuperacoon. " I am going to go Karkat, but I also want to tell you something of importance. " you state, " I.. " you look out the window and see troll Shia Labeouf. Although you couldn't hear his calls, you smiled knowing what he meant. In confidence you looked back at Karkat. " I'm really fucking pissed off to know that you took me back to what I am going to assume is your hive, UNDRESSED ME, didn't call the fucking troll hospital like a normal troll, and also having a moirail-like relationship on the internet with me for a long time and you didn't even fucking realize that I have a FURBY at home creating mass amounts of robots AS WE SPEAK. YOU of all trolls should KNOW THAT. "

" YEP, " he informs in a calm professional, totally completely relaxed fashion.

" Also i'm flushed for you. "

He wheezes, " WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOG REALLY HOLY SHIT FUCK OHM Y FUCKING GOGOG FUKC KI HOLY SHIT RIGYHJTKEL jWORKJJU HFD IOJS- ". You can't help but react by being really confused.

He begins to wheeze at a higher frequency, but in confusion, " YOU'RE-- FLUSHED FOR ME, _____?!?! w@ ?!1?!?#!? !!1 11! ? "

" Da. Ja. Oui. Hai. Det har du rätt bucko. "

What he did next took you by surprise.

He takes the wheel and takes a turn to flirt city, his face flushed with the scarlet reds of cherry jelly beans. He begins to lean in, and your heart along with his begins to beat at a rapid pace. Suddenly everything is in slow motion. You both are about to merge into sticky wet tentacle mouth the amusement park. But, something was off. In this convenient moment of slow motion you look at him to realize..

" OooooohhhHHh nooooOOooo OO OO O O  "

His chin is growing longer by the seconds. Not only that, but also POINTIER. His eyes? Those began to get BIGGER and BIGGER, just like his DOKI'S for you. OH SHIT. The convenience of the slow motion will no longer be! Time is beginning to get back to the pace of the present. Just in the nick of time, you DODGED his large alluring lips.

You were knocked over to the other side of the room. You scoffed and quickly got up, turning the door handle, " No wonder he's acting so weird. " you say under you breath as you run across the hive, rapid footsteps chasing after you. " He's gone anime! "