behind her blue eyes

Untitled Part 1

                         i ask her  Did you think of committing suicide?". She knew who the bullies were. They were her best friends. She was bullied from fifth grad  to seventh grade, and every day they picked on her for her race. And for a bit one person made comments implying that shes gay. They would make jokes and call her names like "herpes" and others who are the same race as her. During PE, one person in particular would make comments while we were changing in the locker room, implying that I was gay. That person would say that I was staring at people of the same sex while they were dressing. I am not gay, and but she always accepting of those who are. But, when this person labeled  her gay, she felt, in a way, violated and disrespected. she did not like how people would label her with names, such as gay and herpes, even if she were to do absolutely nothing or appear as "different" to them. I feel that people most commonly use the words "gay" or "faggot" to describe people who are different from them and who they feel don't belong. They felt that it was all a joke, but it was torture and abuse to her.

                                 she repeatedly asked them to stop, but they ignored her every time. It took them over a year, but they finally stopped when an SOS student offering support jumped in. My school therapist/counselor, who's in charge of SOS, arranged mediation with herself, a few student conflict mediators, the students, one at a time, and me to discuss the racial comments. she remember one of them saying, "I wanted her to explode in anger. I wanted her to start screaming and have a meltdown." I can't tell you how angry she was to hear that from someone who she thought was her friend. When she heard that, she felt like her life ended because she felt like all of her friends were trying to do the same. she felt abused. she felt tortured. she  felt that she was used for their entertainment. Some of them felt and still feel that she "snitched," "ratted," or "tattled" on them, but she know that she do not deserve to be bullied. And most of all, she felt that she was used by her friends for them to gain popularity. They don't and didn't know how the bullying affected me. she tried so hard to get them to stop and understand that enough was enough, but none of them listened. There were so many silent witnesses who I wished would've spoken up or at least said something positive to me.

From my experience, she felt that she needed to take action to prevent this from happening to others. But never once did she think of committing suicide. she knew deep down that there was a way out, and suicide was not an option for dealing with bullying. she knew that the only way out without transferring and having the bullying continue was to tell at school. I can honestly tell you that I still have , and I always will. But, the feeling of talking to peers, sharing her story, and having the opportunity to help someone in need is exceedingly good. I am not thankful that she was bullied, which made her get involved in SOS, but she is thankful for the outcome of the bullying. she have actually helped so many people, and it's the best feeling. she helped one of my old friends, for a year straight via text message, overcome four years of bullying from school, problems with friends and family and family members' life-threatening illnesses. Now he is better than ever, and he is now openly gay. she helped friends with relationship issues, coping from sexual harassment, sports-related issues, etc. she is thankful that her school has zero tolerance for any form of bullying and for the support from her teachers, school administrators, and SOS members, who are now my good friends.

      At her  school she had a program called SOS, students offering support, which is a group run by our school's therapist/counselor and core members. Our SOS group has a program within the larger program through which SOS members teach students about their group - my group is "Sticks and Stones: Bullying Prevention." Since the rise of homophobia in high school, she is trying to incorporate it with her presentation. In the program, we have other groups such as "Suicide/Depression," "Better Safe than Pregnant," "Academic Stress," and more. During the presentations, the presenter(s) shows their , clips, and games and shares their personal story. By sharing my personal story, she feel that it takes the pain away knowing that her story will inspire, at least one student to stand up to bullying. As long as she can help one person, she feel that she is making a difference.

Bullying happens in the classroom and through phone calls, letters/notes, text messaging,  and even behind people's back. It's hard to stop bullying because most bullies are able to cover up their tracks. Bullies bully where people can't see or hear them. Bullies bully when teachers aren't looking, and bullies bully when the victim isn't looking. her experience with bullying was tremendous, and her story goes on and on. But all she want to do now is help others who are being bullied and from happening. 

and i'm am so proud of her i'm glade to call her my best friend