it was hard to lose you, but it was even harder to watch you lose yourself.
i knew something was wrong when you picked something green instead of yellow; you'd loved the color yellow since you were a toddler.
i started to worry when you declined coffee; our lives revolved around it, & half of our conversations were about it.
your mom decided to get you help when you stopped writing; you always told me you wrote to stay sane, so if you stopped writing, did that mean you stopped being sane?
we realized the medicine wasn't working when you stopped telling me you loved me; you told me at least once a day, & i didn't realize how much i needed it until i didn't hear it anymore.
i realized i was losing you when you couldn't look me in the eye; you knew i would break when i saw there was no more life in your eyes.
it wasn't until you were gone until i realized there was never any saving you; you wouldn't have let me. you had always been stubborn, but I didn't see it as a problem until your stubbornness was the reason i couldn't hold you anymore.
05/21/15
