Prima Ballerina(#Wattys2015)

Depression and Embarrassment

How can you see into my eyes, like open doors.

 Leading you down into my core

 Where I've become so numb, without a soul.

 My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

 Until you find it there and lead it back home.

There is a war going on in my head...Call him! No! Call him! No!!!

It was clear now that he was never really into me for all I know it was all just an act. Cameron had said in one of our rehearsals he was an actor in high school. Why must I have fallen for him? Out of all the eligible people in company I fell for the one who actually didn't love me. Luise must have gotten the name wrong or Dragon did who cares he still didn't love me as I loved him.

Crap I am not even afraid to admit it anymore.

I AM IN LOVE WITH CAMERON!!!

And he could care less about me.

I am listening to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence my go to song for when I am depressed.

I hear banging on the door..."IF YOU ARE ONE OF MY NEIGHBORS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE NOISE LEAVE ME ALONE I HAVE HAD A BAD LAST TWENTY FOUR HOURS!!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs then I collapse onto my couch.

I hear my door open and I turn of my music and turn around. Think of the Devil... It was Cameron."What?...."I say flabbergasted. "Sorry to disturb you Penn but I wanted to introduce you to someone. Nina come on in." He says pulling the girl I saw with him last night into view "This is my sister Nina she is leaving on a flight to New England soon but I wanted you two to meet" he says.

Oh shit! She is his sister!!!!! I was so wrong I read the situation wrong!!! So wrong!!! Crap! Crap! Crap!

"Hi Nina" I say putting out my hand "Hi Penn" she says shaking my hand "I have heard a lot about you. Are you okay? You sounded pretty upset when we knocked on the knock... well banged on the door?" she says with a good natured smile.

"Oh I am fine" I lie then I start to move things of my sofa so they can sit doown. A rotten banana EW, a random shoe, a random Pointe shoe, my jet glue. The list goes on

When the unthinkable happens...Katie comes barging in "Oh no you don't Cameron! Coming her to show of your girlfriend huh! Do you know!!! How upset Penn was last night after seeing you two together at the mall! She was heartbroken! She thought you actually liked her!! But that was just a lie huh?!" She spits out every single word with venom as I stand behind them shaking my head trying to get her to stop.

Oh gods... I am now officially mortified.

Cameron turn to me then asks "You saw me last night at the mall and thought Nina was my girlfriend?" then he busts out laughing.

"Penn I can guarantee you there is only one girl in my life that I have romantic feeling for and that girl is you" then he kisses me. And I don't mean a peck I mean full fledged kissing. I am remotely aware of a smiling Nina dragging a very confused Katie out of my apartment before shutting the door. However I was mostly focused on Cameron.

Oh wow! He was kissing me!!!!

We break apart and I am a nervous wreck. Probably because I had failed to notice that I was still in my pajamas. "Penn I love you" he says looking at me.

This time I am the one who instigates the kiss.