Jaymie's P.O.V
*beep* *beep* *beep* *be-*
My alarm clock always annoyed the fuck outta me at 6 in the morning and when that specific morning is a Monday, you better watch out!
"JAYMIE WAKE UP!!!" my grandmother bellowed from the room next door.
"You're going to school today! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!"
I hated school. Everything about it. The teachers, my classmates, my fake ass friends, the other students, even just the fucking atmosphere of it all! It was a fucking hell-hole!!
Should I pull another sicky?? Or should I just go to fucking school...
I decided to lay in bed for another half an hour, I did this every morning as I would start to run late and then I had no choice but to get a ride to school. Of course my dad knew that it's exactly what I was aiming for but nothing changed.
I slowly crept out of bed and flopped by body - limb by limb - onto the floor and rested my back against the bed. I was constantly getting yelled and screamed at
'hurry up Jaymie! You're gonna be late!'
'Get out of bed Jaymie! Your breakfast is getting cold!'
'Jaymie you little shit! Hurry the fuck up!'
I get yelled at so often that I got used to it and tended to ignore it, probably not the best way to go but I didn't really care. My life is run by me, and I didn't listen to no one!
I'll let you in on a little secret, I actually have social anxiety. My family knows but they don't really care... My grandmother thinks that it's an excuse for me to not go to school. (From the sounds of things it does appear to come off as an excuse but it certainly a very valid reason, why would you force yourself to go to a place that your afraid of?)
My best friend, Cass, understands everything I'm going through - even though she is perfectly normal herself. I told her my whole life story about my mum's husband, my cousin, getting bullied and all sorts of other things that were worrying me. To be honest, she was way better than any counsellor I have ever been to in my life, and I have been to a few! She understands my emotions and how different things effect the way I feel, act and respond to information.
Further on in the day
I had to walk home alone today, always the worst, so I threw in some ear buds and listened to music. Music was a form of therapy for me, the beat, the lyrics, the sound of the vocals, the way it all pieced together - it was really soothing and comforting. This managed to keep me calm the whole way home and helped me ignore all the other people that I felt were staring at me.
My father always told me they stare because I'm beautiful but I know it's a father's job to tell her daughter that. As always I accept his compliments but I never believe a god damn word of it.
I was recently professionally diagnosed with chronic depression, social anxiety, bipolar and mild schizophrenia, and ever since I have had a lot of trouble coming to terms with it all.
They told me that there are 'tools' I can use to help fight these and feel 'normal' again, but hearing that just made me more angry and I felt so incapable of anything. I felt like I needed constant care and that I would have to get looked after like a puppy. 24/7, around the clock - constant care!
I immediately picked up the phone, dialling in a specific phone number.
"Hey Jaymie!" A familiar voice said on the receiving end. "Would you like to speak to Cassidy?"
YOU ARE READING
We define the word 'forever'
FanfictionJaymie and Johnnie were two very different people that lived two completely different lives, but both were hopefuls. Both grew up with terrible childhoods and tragic events and both couldn't bare it any longer Perseverance goes a long way in a big...