You were mine once

Before the heart break Chapter 2

the closest I've gotten to u was through my sleep.
it's like your hiding from me.
it's like your feeling are so unsure that you won't tell me .
I love you and I won't ever stop,
but it seams you already have.
my tears mean nothing
if you don't care.
I just need time together and I'll fix it.
but you won't come near me.
this is hurting me the most.
I love you and you know it.
I crave you.
I smelled this guys cologne and it was yours.
I almost ran away cause I couldn't.
I couldnt face the thought of never smelling it again.
it's been too long for me .
I'm breaking down .
I'm not gonna be able to carry on soon.
I don't know why I'm so hurt.
I know I hurt you but I think I'm hurt cause you're hurt and I can't help.
I want to be with you
but you won't ever show up.
I love you more than I have ever loved anyone .
you have my heart fully.
I don't know how you got all it
but you defiantly did.
I want to lay in your arms one more time.
I write so much about you,
but I can't write it all because it can't be explained it words how much I like you.
how much I care for you.
I would do anything for you.
I'm told so much to move on,
to stop trying, to give up.
I never will. Never.
Drew, Andrew, Theresa, Sage , Sarah,Olivia, Lebari, Mason, Caroline, Anna, and Kris all tell me to stop and carry on and forget.
I think that's the reason I broke up with you.
but if I could go back and change that I would in a second.
I've never been so attached to someone.
I only think of you.
I'm frustrated with myself.
I let them all get in my head when I knew in my heart we will work it out.
but I don't think we have quite yet.
I'm the only one causing problems in all of this.
I'm sorry.
I don't know if you have cried over me.
I have cried over you too many times.
cause I knew I hurt you.
I cry when I think of our conversations about having flaws.
my flaws are i fuck things up.
I break things that I shouldn't touch.
you never broke my heart.
I broke it my self with my hands.
I love you.
sorry I'm such a fuck up.
I want to cry in your arms.
I want you to hold me cause I hate crying.
I feel weak and I only want you to see that side of me.
I don't let anyone see it.
maybe I show it a bit but I don't like too.
I'm sorry I'm so clingy.
I have never used to be like that.
or at least I never noticed it till now.
I'm sorry I broke up with you.
I didn't mean to.
it was my head not my heart.
I don't know when I hurt people sometimes.
I am careless sometimes.
I'm sorry this is so long
I'm sorry I always make a mess.
I'm sorry I love you so much.
Actually I'm not sorry at all for loving you.
Just sometimes I don't know how to show my love.
I guess that's why I write so much.
you are the most important person in my life.
I'm not sure what I am to you.
I know I confuse the shit out of you.
if u just asked, me I would help straight it all out hopefully.
maybe you have no questions.
I have one question.
I want to know how you feel.
if you don't like me I need to know.
I can't just continue thinking you do.
I care what you have to say.
When we are together,
I get this feeling of being complete.
I feel like I could be forever next to you.
I don't just want you for your body.
I want your heart, your mind, and your soul.
I would do anything for you.
you ask and I'll make it happen.
I can't explain the way you make me feel.
I just know it's something only you can give me.
My stomach drops when I think of the nights we had at collins.
it's fading though now.
I want only you.
I will let you take me.
I want you to be mine and me to be yours.
I will only ever be honest with you.
I know I'm so into you.
I've never been like this.
You gave me everything I could ask for.
i just need time with you so I can pick up all the things I broke.
I want to have your heart.
I want to lay under that stars with you.
I want to lay in your arms.
I want to breath in your scent.
I need you.
I love you.
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Ah!! Hope you like this one. This was when i knew things weren't working out with the boy and i hope you can sense the feeling and vibes that come off as you read.

Please vote and comment! I want to know what you guys like and dislike!!

Thank you for reading!!!
-JL