A Nerdy Affair (a Dan Howell story)

Late night questions.

The door creaked. I pulled the covers up to my neck, my heart was racing. Who on earth was entering my bedroom at 3:00 am? Then I remembered that this wasn't my bedroom. It was Dan's.

"Dan?" I whispered, hoping for a reply from Dan and not some creepy mass murderer.

"It's Phil" The person whispered back. Why was Phil in Dan's room at 3:00 am? He stepped in further closing the door behind him. Letting the covers slip, I squinted through the darkness to try and see what he was doing. The light suddenly snapped on and I screwed up eyes as the light made them sting.

"What are you doing?" My voice sounded rough, my throat hurt. Phil's hair was ruffled, and his clothes were crumpled. Flannel pyjama bottoms made him look very young and cute. As he got closer I could see smudges under his eyes. His pale skin making them stand out. "Can't you sleep?" Phil answered this with a simple shake of the head. I patted the end of Dan's bed and he sat down. I pulled back on my jumper, just being in my vest top.

" I have been thinking about what you said about Tom" At this I winced. Avoiding speaking about Tom at all costs was something I had been doing for a while. Talking about it at 3:00 am was a risky thing. I wasn't the cleverest person at this time in the morning. Nodding my head, I gestured for him to continue talking. "Gabs you really should tell the police" seeing my frown, he continues "he could just keep on doing this is in every relationship he ever has, if you don't speak up."

"Don't try guilt tripping me" I snapped "I have felt guilty for something I could do nothing about for years, I don't need any more" my voice softened as I stopped talking.

"You shouldn't ever feel guilty about what he did to you," Phil said this with such conviction that I almost believed him.

"When Justin found us he beat Tom to a pulp. Told him that he was giving him the same treatment that he had given me." I said this so quietly, I was surprised that Phil could even hear me. But I heard him mumble an approval of Justin's actions. " and I felt awful for weeks after that. I felt so bad about what Justin had done" Phil's face showed confusion, I guessed it didn't really make sense.

"Why would you feel guilty for him getting what he deserved?" As he asked this, I heard a pattering of feet down the hallway.

"As what had happened was my fault-" I was cut off from answering as Dan walked in " Do you boys always stay up till the early hours of the morning?" Dan just shrugged and joined Phil, sitting down cross-legged on the end of his bed. Dan's hair was slightly curly at the ends, making him look boyish and adorable. I probably looked a mess. Self-consciously I ran a hand through my hair. Sadly I met several knots, which concluded that my hair was indeed currently a birds nest. "What Tom did to me always felt like my fault. I always assumed it was something I had done, I was the one that had made our relationship poison." I didn't look at them as I said this. Having always felt shy and awkward when talking to people about myself, another worry that came with this lack of eye contact was that I didn't want them to think I was rude.

"Why? It wasn't your fault at all. I have never met someone who makes me want to hit them less" Dan's voice was very forceful, and I felt myself smiling slightly at his words.

"You guys weren't there, it isn't easy to understand" This was all I said. I wanted the subject dropped it made me feel awkward and I didn't want to talk about it anymore. "Anyone feel tired yet?" I was trying to change the subject. Met with a shake of heads, I sighed. I mean I wasn't that tired personally, but I didn't want to have to talk to anyone right now. The talking of Tom had taken it all out of me mentally, but physically I was wide awake.

"Can we have a sleepover?" Dan asks.

"You guys live together, surely that means you have sleepovers every night?" What did he mean a sleepover?