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MY FAMILY FOUND OUT WHO I WAS IN LOVE WITH
I
It wasn't like a fairy tale. I hadn't been waiting for him all my life, it wasn't love at first sight. In fact I never really thought about falling in love. He came to me like everyone else but he wasn't everyone else. He was a well respected figure of society, admired by his peers and family. He called my company to design a building he wanted as his office and I was to undertake the project. The moment we met held no significance I was only nervous and he was smiling. There was something about him I couldn't quiet grasp. How was I to explain it? This felt like a trap to imprison me in the world of love and that's what happened. I fell in love with him.
I didn't plan to of course, all those times we spent together how could I not? It was him! He who had every woman love him. But I was different I could never have him. I was not in his circle of people. I was not of his calibre. That didn't stop my love for him from growing and my heart ached for him every moment I spent with him.
II
In one day it all changed the day I sprained my ankle. He crouched before me as I sat on a chair he inspected my ankle. Without thinking I reached out for him gently taking his face in my hands. He stared intently at me not saying anything then so suddenly he took my hand from his face and kissed it softly. My heart jumped in my chest making me dizzy. Our moment ended when his colleagues arrived. I quickly pulled my hand from his and looked away. He never took his eyes off me as he stood.
III
I tried to forget what had happened, my fear that he would love me back came true. He did not deserve me. What would people think if they saw us together? What would that do to his reputation? The answers I had were not friendly ones. I made sure I was never left alone with him, exiting the room when the last person before us left. It was stupid I know but it had to be done. I couldn't let him be with me. I loved him to much for that. One day he held my arm tight so I wouldn't get away. We stood out on the balcony alone after his colleague left. Clutching me to him he refused to let me go as I was forced to look at him. His intense green eyes reflected my pained expression. Slowly he leaned forward and covered my mouth with his. His vice grip loosened to curl around my body to draw me closer to him as our mouths worked on each other. It was at this moment, this kiss that my life truly began.
IV
I was 22 and he 35 but age didn't matter when we loved each other so dearly. We had been together for two months; no one knew of our relationship, we promised to keep that secret. We stole away moments were we could be together alone enjoying every moment of it yet fear stirred inside me that someone would find out about us. Pictures of us on my cell phone had me treasuring the cell phone. Dreams of him filled my sleep. I never wanted to be without him. Everyday I lived was lived because of him.
V
When the building was complete and opened to view we realized that it may be even more difficult to see each other. I went with him to the opening many of his colleagues where there. I had invited my siblings to view my work and they were mixed among his people. The building was dark inside even though the setting sun entered the windows on a warm autumn day. Seeing how beautiful it was I thought about us and how we both enjoyed the sun set. I detached myself from a conversation and went to find him. He was on the other side of the room which didn't hold much people. I told him about the sunset and he draped a hand over my shoulder drawing me to him. He was looking out the other tall window where the moon shown: our second favourite thing. As he clutched me to him I looked up and raised my hands to the moon making it look as if I was touching it. We laughed softly together and I got caught up in the moment. Not realizing where we were and who was around I slowly put my hand on his chest and started moving it around feeling the muscled contours, the favourite part of his body. I wanted him so much in that moment that I made to open the buttons of his shirt. He caught my hand stopping me. I looked up at him his lustful eyes saying no. I snapped out of my daze and withdrew myself from his arms. He held on to me softly as I moved away then dropped his hands. What was I thinking? I thought. I could have ruined him. I turned away and walked to the crowd feeling undeserving yet again.
VI
I never meant to hurt him, of course not. I tried my best to conceal our secret but the universe didn't bend my way. One day I fell asleep on the couch my mobile phone showing the picture of him without your shirt on showing of his well exercised chest. I could hear them talking, my siblings.
Ha-ha, they said, she's like in love with him or something. I could hear them, but I couldn't wake up. I was stuck in my sleep. I couldn't open my eyes and I hoped, oh how I prayed that this was only a dream. In my dream they held my mobile phone in their hands, their voices held mocking tones. Then ever so suddenly they fell silent. They must have seen the wallpaper I realized. The one of us together that had our arms around each other. He did that, lets be daring he had told me and I let him. I had forgotten all about it. I fought with myself to wake up and finally I did. Jumping of the sofa I stood facing them. They were both staring at my mobile phone screen mouth open not saying anything and looked up at the sword of my heavy breathing, my wide eyes. I caught a glimpse of the screen; we were smiling in the sunlight. I brought my eyes to meet theirs fearful at what they now knew. Their expressions were of disbelief and shock and a little anger.
"Please" I begged them in a shaky whisper "Don't tell anyone"
What have I done? What have I done? How could I have been so stupid? How could I have let him down like this? He didn't deserve a thing like me. No matter how much I loved him no matter how much he loved me I shouldn't have been with him.
