Moving On - Luke Hemings

Reflection

As I slowly turned around from where I was standing, frozen from the words Luke had just spoken to the whole stadium, everyone was looking at me. The whole stadium. 

I didn't move any closer to the stage because I was stubborn. He got me to turn around. I am most certainly not going to walk any further. 

I brushed off the people who were staring, mostly because I couldn't even concentrate on them long enough. I was thinking about what Luke said. I was remembering the night he described. I had no idea he had such a clear memory of it. I think my favorite song that he was talking about was The New Year by Parachute. God I was obsessed with that song.

But before I could get into really deep thought Luke interrupted. He laughed first, but then began to talk. "You know, that girl that changed me so long ago, hasn't really changed that much. As I was saying that speech to you guys, and to her, I knew she would be too stubborn to walk back to her seat. I knew she would stand right where I had stopped her. It's crazy how so much between us can change but she can still stay the person that I fell in love with. Sassy and stubborn but sweet and compassionate. I wrote a song for her a long time ago when I went on my first tour. She was back home in Australia at school and I was traveling the word. At night I would wish for her to be with me so she could say something sassy that made me laugh. So I wrote a song called Beside You when I was feeling down. And weirdly enough, I never told her I wrote this about her, but I think she somehow knew," Calum then began to sing. 

Within a minute I was all packed up,

I've got a ticket to another world

I don't wanna go

I don't wanna go

The silent words are hard to speak

When your thoughts are all I see

"Don't ever leave," she said to me

I remember when he first left me that one day. I did say "Don't ever leave". I couldn't bear the thought of spending 4 whole months without my favorite person. He was just about to get into his car and was saying his last goodbye to me. I was crying and he was even a little teary eyed. With no explanation whatsoever, Luke sent me a really bad recording of him singing it. We never talked about it, but it was the only way I could sleep at night. With his voice playing softly in the background.

It got easier to see him go. Maybe because I knew that I was no person to be holding him back from his dream. Maybe because I grew up and knew there was no other way. After a while, I stopped crying when he left. But not one day went by when I didn't listen to that recording. Sometimes it was the only thing that kept me going. 

It's crazy, when I think about it, how much Luke and I have accomplished while together. I graduated high school. He became and international superstar. I learned how to cook. He learned how to fly on a plane by himself. And we shared each one of these things with each other. I always told him about school, and he always told me about his job as a band member. I made him try my meals, and he told the tale of how he conquered his fear of flying on a plane alone. 

For the rest of the show, I stand in the same spot, reflecting on our past years in a relationship. After it ended, I refused to let myself think about it. Now was the first time I was really reminiscing on it. I always thought it would make my stomach turn. I thought it would make me upset. But it did the opposite. It made me finally feel happy again. Like I had finally found the part of me I had been searching for in the past year. It had been in the back of mind the whole time.

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HEYYY! so i am really bad at sticking to my promises of when I tell you guys i will update but you guys should be thankful because I am on vacation rn and i took the time to actually write this. I know its really short but i kinda wanted a chapter to sorta reflect on their past relationship and give you a little insight on what it was like. i hope you guys enjoyed it, because I thought it was kinda fun to write. and don't worry, in the next chapter, actual stuff will happen i promise.

xoxoxo,

everyoneloves5sos