The first day of school (one-shot)

The First Day Of School

The bell rings and everyone walks to their homerooms. Bob and Jim walk side by side to their seats.

"What'd you do this summer?" Jim asked his friend.

"I went hunting." Bob stated.

"What did you hunt?" Jim asks.

"Many much moosen!" Bob stated forcefully.

Everyone turned around to stare at him with a 'WTF' look. Jim looked pass Bob to the kid sat beside his friend.

"Hey what's your name?" He asked.

The kid turned towards him with a crazy twitch in his eye and whispered demandingly while standing up.

"I am Draco Malfoy," he said, coming closer to Jim and forcing him back to the wall, "I'm a racist. I despise mudbloods and gingers. I hate Gryffindor house, and my parents work for the guy who killed your parents. Do you want to be my friend?" He finished, staring directly into Jim's eyes, challenging him to say no.

"Okay... so..." He said nervously, "what's your favorite animal?" He asked awkwardly.

"NEVER TRUST A DUCK!!" The crazy kid screamed then suddenly sat down and acted as though he never said a word.

The teacher began calling roll.

"Bob?"

"Here" 

"Jim?"

"Here"

"Sally?"

"Present."

"Marco?"

"Polo! Ha! I got you stupid humans!" shouted the self-acclaimed 'Draco'.

The teacher looked up for a moment and then moved on.

"So lets start with an icebreaker. How about a joke? Does anyone have a joke?" The teacher asked.

"What about that joke where you throw confetti in the air?" Sally asked.

"I haven't written that joke yet,"  'Draco' said, staring straight ahead "because it's based on this conversation! Gotcha!" He shouted as he threw confetti in the air.

After everyone settled down, Jim and his friend Bob started talking again.

"Hey, Jim?" Bob said.

"Yeah, Bob?" Jim sated curiously.

"You remember that time you dropped your ice cream on the ground?"

"Yeah, I remember." Jim stated rolling his eyes because Bob had brought this up at least a million times.

"Well, the next time that happens, you pick it up and you eat it Bitch." he finished staring coldly into Jim's eyes.

"Okay Bob." Jim rolled his eyes again.

The teacher began to talk about upcoming events. Apparently 'Pi day was coming up.

"How about you make a pie for the class 'Draco'?" the teacher asked, looking towards him.

"I will not make pie for three reasons," 'Draco' began "one, I don't have any pie ingredients. Two, I actually don't know how to make pie." He stated.

"And three?" the teacher questioned.

"Because I'm not your bitch!" 'Draco' stated sharply.

 The whole class gasped in astonishment.

"Shut the fuck up!" 'Draco' shouted, looking around at the class.

"Hey, are you still with your girl?" Bob asked Jim.

"Naw man. We broke up, she doesn't like biting."

"But biting's great! It's like kissing only there's a winner."

"Since you can't make pie, how about some lemon-aid?" the teacher asked.

"When life gives you lemons, make lemon-aid. Then throw it back in the face of the person that gave you the lemons and demand the oranges you originally asked for." He stated staring at the wall.

The teacher walks to the door and then turns to look at the class. "Get ready for a plane ride straight to hell, and the in-flight movie, 'Super Hell'." He smiled creepily and walked out of the room.

The bell rang and all the students ran outside to wait for their ride.

The boys cars' pulled up and they all looked at each other smiling. "See you in Hell."