Tim stared down at Damian's body in the small casket. His blue eyes filled with sorrow and pain. He should've been there. He should've done something. He should've-
Tim couldn't bring himself to think about that now. What's done is done. It cannot be changed no matter how much he dislikes it. All those times he and Damian had fought, none of those fights mattered. Tim thought of the former assassin as a younger brother, and the two would do anything for each other in the end.
His eyes were starting to sting with tears and his stomach felt sick like it usually did right before he started to cry. As Tim looked down, he half-expected Damian to say, "Don't be such a baby, Drake. I for one thought you'd be happy if I was gone."
That did it. Tim was crying and the tears were slipping through his eyelids that he was trying so hard to keep closed. They were shut tightly, but the tears still managed to leak through. "It doesn't feel real," he choked out between sobs. Tim wanted to just be able to stop crying, to make the hurt go away. But he couldn't and it wouldn't.
Tim's cries slowly became louder and louder until Tim found himself on his knees in front of the casket, screaming. "I should have been there! I should've-" This just caused louder crying. "I'm sorry, Damian!" Tim put his face in his hands as he cried louder, not caring who heard him.
A sudden wave of pure anger washed over Tim and he couldn't help himself from grabbing the nearest object, which happened to be an iron stand for holding candles, and hurled it as hard as he could at the wall. "WHY?!" he screamed over and over as he threw a number of books also at the wall. Tim then looked up to the ceiling and pointed a finger. "This is all your fault! How could you do this?! He was just a kid!" Tim lowered his hand but continued to stare at the ceiling. "I hate you," he wailed. "I HATE YOU!!!"
Tim practically threw himself on the floor, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. "I'm so so sorry, Damian. I'm so sorry." Tim stood up shakily and made his way back over to where Damian lay. He ran his hand along the boy's cheek and shuddered at just how cold Damian was.
"I love you, Damian. I always have and I always will." Tim shook slightly as another wave of sobs rushed over him. "Always." He stood there for another couple of minutes just running his hand over Damian's little face and murmuring sweet nothings until he felt he couldn't breathe. Tim knew Damian would not want him to have another episode so the Red Robin began to convince himself that he should leave.
Reluctantly, Tim withdrew his hand from the boy and placed it in his pocket. "You're a good boy, Damian. You made us all so so proud." Tim turned away and began to head out the door. He wanted to leave before Bruce got there and Tim knew he definitely wouldn't be able to handle that.
