Savior ↛ Phan

Chapter 17- Realization

(Still same POV change thingy)

((Saviour by BVB always seems to be on when I start these chapters ffs))

"Hey, Phil!" Jamie chirps from the living room as I enter my house.

I don't say anything but fake a smile as I walk into the living room. Jamie sits on the sofa while Jaxon plays with his toys on the ground. I don't know why he still hasn't warned up to her. Jamie's amazing. She's kind, caring, gorgeous. Honestly, Jamie reminds me of Dan but there's still something missing about her that makes me chew my lip whenever Dan and her are in the same room with me.

"How was Dan, today?" She quietly asks, snapping me out of my confused thoughts.

"Hm? Oh...he was, um..." I trail off as I'm still befuddled by the actions of earlier.

"He's not doing well, is he?" She asks and stands up from the sofa, standing in front of me with an almost scared expression.

I slowly nod my head and she sighs, removing my fringe out of my eyes and placing a soft kiss onto my lips, "I'll go make dinner, okay? Jaxon's missed you." She lightly smiles with sympathy.

I nod and she walks out of the room, going into the kitchen. Jamie knows about how I deeply care about Dan. Hell, he's the one that helped me out of my own dark time. The thing is, is that I got out of it so quickly. Just by Dan being Dan.

At least Dan says differently. He keeps going on about how he's not the same person, but I know that Dan's wrong. He's still the same lovable Dan that I fell in love with- wait.

My eyes widen and I stumble back a bit at what my mind has just decided to say. Do I really love Dan? Well, yeah, of course I do. I mean, who wouldn't? His smile lightens up my mood. His laugh could cure cancer. The way his eyes sparkle when he's intrigued and how he pronounces words differently with his posh voice that always annoys him. But...I don't love him in that way, right? Of course not. He's a guy. I don't...like guys.

I shake my head and chew on my lip a while longer in deep thought before I feel a tug at the hem of my shirt. I look down and see a smiling, yet curious Jaxon, "Hi daddy." He happily greets me.

A smile breaks onto my face at the adorable child that stands next to me so I crouch down and engulf him into a tight hug.

"How's Danny?" Jaxon asks as I pull away from the embrace.

My heart skips a beat at his name, my face turning grim. How do you explain to a 2 year old that your best friend- that you may be in love with -looks like he's withering away, and is more than likely back to a highly depressed state of mind?

"He's not doing too well, Lion." I whisper.

Jaxon tilts his head to the side, "What's wrong?"

"He's...sad, and sick." I explain the best I can.

Jaxon frowns, "I don't want him to be sad or sick." He quietly says, his bottom lip quivering.

I don't think you understand how much my chest pains at the sight of 2 year old son crying over someone else who's feeling sad and sick. It's an awful sight yet it warms your heart that someone at his age has such strong feelings, "I know, Lion. Neither do I." I quietly say, my voice slightly cracking.

Jaxon tightly hugs me the best I can and I move my hand up and down his back to soothe him. Jaxon's head fits perfectly in the crook of my neck and his tears soak my exposed skin at the top of my shirt, "C-Can you tell Danny th-that I love him? It m-might make him f-feel better." Jaxon tells me between hiccups.