It Comes from the Heart

The lights blinded me, even though my eyes were closed. I felt them burn my face. I felt the heat. The blinding white.

I cracked an eye open, squinting to shield at least some of my cornea from the brightness. They shut close again, anyway. It was way too bright.

My head was suddenly set forward, grabbed by the chin and turned to face straight ahead. Or, at least, I thought it was straight ahead. I don't know anymore.

"I know you're awake."

The clasps abruptly released my soft chin. I scrunched my eyebrows in response, but once again, I slowly opened my eyes. A tall figure blocked the light, forming a dark mass of silhouette. At least I could open my eyes, now. Relief rushed through me.

My vision refocused, but the silhouette remained anonymous. Too much shadow. I didn't know who it was.

Suddenly, I remembered. I remembered him, and I sincerely hoped it was him. "Caligo?" I asked, hope swelling my heart. I made a move to put my hand to my forehead, trying to make a visor. I needed to see his face. I needed him to comfort me, like always. He was always there for me. He cares for me. He's the only one.

I stopped in dead shock. I tried again to move my hands, to reach out toward my dear Caligo, but I was restricted. Bound. I glanced down and stared at my hands. They were bound in leather cuffs to the metal armrests. My forearms, both flushed against the armrests as well, were also individually bound by dark brown, nearly black, riveted cuffs. I tried to stand. 

I couldn't.

I was being held in place by a metal nightmare. I felt the tears building up in my eyes. "Caligo? Caligo! Where are you?!" I screamed. My voice felt like knives scratching against my throat; I could pratically feel them carving thin, scratchy lines up and down the raw flesh as I began to panic.

A hand enclosed around my mouth. I had a feeling it was Silhouette again. "Hush your screaming, girl," it snarled, "You know why you're in here."

A strangled noise resonated throughout my ears. I couldn't even stop the tears at this point.

No, I don't. No, I don't.

There was a deafening silence that fell over Silhouette. I could feel it looking at me, even though I couldn't see it.

No. I don't know why I'm here. I don't.

Then, it inhaled and exhaled -once, twice- and it continued, "So, tell me, Miss Caine..." it paused again, this time removing its hand from my mouth, "...Why? Why'd you do it. What was your purpose on attacking the civilians at Newford Square," -its voice was rising- "and killing those hundreds of people?!"

Silhouette was a man. A tall male, by the sound of his deep voice, around six-foot-two, with a strong build. Or perhaps, he was just a heavy man. I could hear his loud heart through the quietness of our surroundings. It was desperately trying to pump blood throughout his body, and with each word, his volume increased, making his heart pump faster. His thoughts were clear as day, too; no filter to them, whatsoever. His head swarmed with questions and he demanded answers, but even I didn't have those answers. 

Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump.

So many thoughts.

"I am not a patient man, Caine, and your insolence is wasting my time. I'll have you sent to the Secondary Interrogation Cells if I don't have an answer within the next five minutes."

"I'll have you killed, you horrendous little shit,"

Tha-thump. Tha thump. Tha-thump.

It hurt my head.

"You killed hundreds. I can't fucking believe that. All by your measly, little self."

Tha-thump.

"That wasn't even human."

Tha-thump.

I couldn't take it anymore. "CALIGO! CALIGO, WHERE ARE YOU?!" I screamed again, bawling to no end. I was hyperventilating.

Suddenly, with a pop, the lights burst and the darkness swallowed everything in sight. The silent noise in the room increased. The fear was overwhelming, and I welcomed it with a genuine smile.

Thathumpthathumpthathumpthathumpthumpthump-

A thousand voices rang through my ears like a soft lullaby.

A deep, bloodcurdling scream of pain ruined my song. I scrunched my forehead and tilted my head.

There was a final, momentary yelp of pain -was it shock?- followed by a sickening splatter sound. Warm, iron-scented droplets engulfed the front of my body, but I couldn't have been happier. 

Caligo was here. He was finally here to free me of this nightmare.

The leather cuffs no longer bounded my being to the metal throne. I felt a warm presence gently grasp my wrist and pull me up. Safety. I closed my eyes and buried my head in his chest.

Moments later, I felt a cool breeze brush at my face. I opened my eyes, only to find ourselves standing atop of a hill in the midst of tall, wispy grass. The moonlight illuminated our surroundings, the stars twinkling bright in the nighttime sky. Soft chirps of crickets soothed my pounding head.

I looked over to the right.

And in the distance: a dark, large complex. Tiny lit-up windows shone through its façade. It looked harmless. 

But the sirens. The alarms. Even from afar, they were excruciating to hear. To listen.

I looked up at Caligo, but his absence brought the unwanted fear and lonliness back upon me. He had to be somewhere, again, I assume.

That's when my skin started to crust, when the stench of iron filled my nostrils. I bent my head down to examine myself. And even in the dim moonlight, it was still so distinguishable, it made my heart drop. 

Blood. Blood everywhere. On my arms, my torso. Legs, neck, face. In my mind, I realized that it was Caligo's doing, but only out of defense. He tried to defend me. Keep me safe. 

But this time, it was different.

This time, it was the blood of someone I didn't want.