Emily Shimon's Diary

Chapter 3

JAKE'S POV

Darkness.

Silence.

I'm enveloped in it. Nothing reaches me. Here, I don't have to think. It's peaceful here. I don't have to think about anything.

Then the scenery changes. Not at once, but a lightening around my vision until the darkness has gone away. I'm walking to the clearing near the school. The sun is out, and the flowers are in bloom. It's like the day when Em and I finally went out. I break through the foliage into the area, and see Em standing in the middle of the field.

"Em!" Walking quickly towards her, I feel a smile forming. Even in a dream, Em can make me happy. I reach to wrap her in my arms. Suddenly, Em crumples to the grass face down. Staring in confusion and horror, I turn her over to try and wake her up. Her face is deathly pale. Em's hazel eyes unseeing, her black hair spread around her. Checks that were usually flushed were cold to my touch. I bring her chest to my ear, trying to find a heartbeat. Nothing. In Em's hands was an empty bottle of pills. I frantically try to revive her. Silence fills the clearing, with nothing but my desperate attempts to wake my girlfriend.

Then Em's voice fills the clearing. "Why didn't you help me.... You could have saved me...." I look down at her, horrified. The previously frozen mouth barely moves as she continues to speak. Her eyes remain lifeless, but I seem to fall into them. Her voice continues to get louder and louder, until my ears are pounding.

"You could have saved me..."

"You could have talked to me more..."

"You should have seen the signs that I was in trouble..."

"It's all your fault!"

I sit up straight, sweat almost pouring off of me. My heart pounds and I try to calm down. "It was just a dream, just a dream. It wasn't my fault." I try to convince myself that the dream I just experienced was something my consciousness made up.

But what if it really was my fault? I should have seen that Em was in trouble, and she was going to kill herself. I was her boyfriend, I was around her all the time. I knew things that everyone else didn't know. She shouldn't have died. It was my fault that she was gone.

"Damnit!" I punch my mattress in frustration. I prided myself on being a good boyfriend and best friend to Em, but I had failed her. She had trusted me enough to date me for 4 years. She had saved me countless times, but I couldn't return the favor. Now she was dead.

And I think it was because of me.

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And that's chapter 3! Jack's starting to blame himself for Emily's death, and just had a dream about it. Poor him T-T. I'm so sorry its short, but I wanted to put one out since its been more then a week. Really sorry about that, I've been really busy with band and soccer T-T

Also, Emily Shimon's Diary now has 32 reads! To most people its not a lot, but to me it's a lot. Thanks to everyone who's read it, or even just glanced through it, it means so much to me! If you want, leave a vote or message! I'll see you in the next chapter, hopefully out in the next week.

Love, Class, and Kick Ass.