Best Kept Secret

The sun was high in the sky, only a few clouds dotting the London horizon. It wasn’t unusual to see many people outside as soon as the sun beams made its first true appearance in spring.

Underneath a willow tree, away from the families with their laughing children and the elders with their dogs, sat two people. You would think from afar that they were more than just friends judging from the smiles on their faces and how close they seemed to be, but every single time someone gave them a questioning look, they would just laugh it off with a comment that would divert the attention to a different subject.

The girl, Eleanor, would smile at his jokes despite the fact that some of them were dry. She would notice the pause before he asked a meaningful question. She would notice the excited glint in his eyes whenever a song by his favourite band was on a playlist. She would notice his muted laughter and the way he messed with his hair, trying to fix it more times than it was needed. 

The boy, Brett, would notice her mindless humming and the way her lips would twitch into a smile at the sound of Muse on a radio. He would notice her weaknesses and the moments when she truly needed his support. He would be able to understand her from just a half of a word.

But there were many things in the way of both of them confessing to each other, so every now and then they would meet up to discuss their lives, adventures, stories and sweet little nothings. It wasn’t a rare sight to see that their conversations turn to something much more meaningful, but both would stop when necessary and drift away into a comfortable silence.

This is exactly what happened underneath the willow tree.

The peaceful and tranquil moment was interrupted by Brett’s phone beeping louder than expected, a familiar face appearing on the contact photo. Eleanor’s smile fell almost immediately at the recognition, and so did her heart.

“I have to go,” he trailed off, his eyes scanning the text message that he had just received.

This happened every time, but she tried to keep her jealousy close.

“It’s always her, isn’t it?” Eleanor mumbled in response, hoping that her words would just go by unnoticed, beep off the radar just like the wind around them.

“Eleanor, she’s my girlf-”

“And what am I? Your best kept secret and your biggest mistake?” The younger girl sneered, cutting him off halfway through the sentence, spitting out her sarcastic comment venomously; a reference to a song that they both have listened to many times before. It wasn’t like her to confront him like this, but they didn’t have a lifetime. “I’ll just make it easier for you,” she added, her voice softening the slightest bit as she pushed herself off the ground.

This sudden outburst took Brett by surprise, taking him a while to process the words that were said to him in such a harsh manner. It was too late when he opened his mouth to speak and defend himself; Eleanor was already up on her feet and walking away.

Eleanor blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks as she hastily walked away from Brett, not even taking a moment to glance over her shoulder. She quickened her pace, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket as the wind tousled her hair, leaving a barrier between her and reality.

--

The sun was starting to move down the horizon, hiding behind the tall buildings and so was Eleanor. However her choice of hiding was a blanket thrown over her head as she laid on the bed, surrounded by a comforting wall of pillows and blankets. A familiar tune blasted into her ears through the headphones, but this time a smile didn’t linger on her lips and she didn’t hum along to the tune. Her mind kept jumping to Brett and his girlfriend, predicting how happy they were at this moment. Something she was not.

If this was a typical movie scene, she’d be crying her eyes out with a tub of ice cream and a friend comforting by her side. But this wasn’t a movie and no one knew about her true feelings for the YouTuber, and now was not the time to let anyone know. It was time to take a deep breath and push it away, pretend like nothing had ever happened.

Knock. Knock.

Eleanor turned up the volume of the music, trying to drown out the distant knocking, not willing to face anyone who was behind the door. This was not the right time for any human interaction.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The knocks on the door seemed to get more impatient as the seconds ticked away. By now Eleanor was convinced that it wasn’t the post man, or someone mistaking the address; the person on the other side seemed to know that she was inside and reluctant on opening the door for them.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

With a loud sigh escaping through her lips, she let go of her expectations that the person will give up and walk away.

She reluctantly unlocked the door, swinging it open in one swift motion. The person on the other side was the last person she wanted to see, but it was too late to shut the door in his face. Nevertheless, there was no denying that her heart skipped a beat as her eyes met Brett’s.

If her entire relationship with Brett was placed onto a see-saw, this would be the pivotal point.

“What are you doing here?” Eleanor inquired with her eyebrow raised after a short moment of silence as she looked up at Brett. Her voice wasn’t as harsh as it was the last time they spoke, yet it lacked the usual cheerfulness.

Brett ran his hand through his dark hair, biting his lower lip gently as he diverted his gaze down onto the ground. “Listen. I’m sorry about today…” he trailed off, making it clear that his words weren’t rehearsed; it was an impulsive move to show up at her doorstep like this. “About everything. I know it’s not right to treat you like this, you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who isn’t afraid to tell you how they really feel. You need to know that you’re enough and never need to change for anyone,” he spoke in a rushed manner, stumbling on his own words once he finally looked up at her.     

“There’s no girlfriend, not anymore, because you’re the one worthy to be loved,” he finished with a sigh of relief, an invisible weight being lifted off his chest. He pursed his lips together tightly, waiting for some sort of response that didn’t involve silence.

Eleanor blinked, processing the words that were just spilled out. This moment was something she imagined many times, but she always left it in the corner of her creative mind, not returning back because it hurt to think that it would never happen. But here she was, standing with her eyes wide open.

Her lips curled into a sincere, shy smile. It was funny how things can change in such a short time. Brett moved his hand up to her face, brushing his thumb against her cheekbone gently before he leaned down, closing the gap between them with a short and gentle kiss; a closure for a chapter of hiding their feelings and a start of a new one, an honest one this time.

“Now you can stay in my bed instead of under it,” he stated with a light chuckle, returning to himself as he pulled away from the kiss and wrapped his arms around her short frame.