I Choose You // Ashton Irwin

I Love You

Avril Lavigne
You're so beautiful
But that's not why I love you
I'm not sure you know
That the reason I love you
Is you
Being you
Just you
Yeah the reason I love you
Is all that eeve been through
And that's why I love you
~
[Ashton's POV]
~
We left for the show on Friday after school. We got to the hotel just before 9, the traffic was so horrible.
As we drove I watched her smiling, getting excited in the passenger seat. She blared the band from my speakers, thanks to my mom's wireless aux.
She was so happy.
I had never seen her so happy before. It was wonderful to see after such a tragedy as Bryana and Alex.
She sang along to every song that played randomly, dancing like an idiot to her favourites.
I didn't want to be anywhere else in that moment, right before we took off after traffic cleared up a bit. She sang passionately along with Rena and Nia and Miranda. She loved that band more than anything else, ever.
I looked at her, a cheeky grin on my face. It was then that I realised I didn't want to spend my life with anyone else.
She was herself around me, the goofy, funny, dance-and-sing-like-she's-alone her. She wasn't that much herself with anyone else. I loved Kayla, but I was in love with Mina.
The way her eyes lit up as she sang along to Hey Violet was so...magical. It was like every star in the entire galaxy piled themselves in her amazing green eyes. Her eyelashes fluttered with happiness, not wanting to blink to miss even a second of whatever was happening.
She sang on, through their album again and again. She had all the music memorised.
She wasn't the best singer, or even a good one, if I'm honest. But I enjoyed her singing. It was so pure, so full of life that I had completely forgotten about the depressed girl with green eyes and red hair.
She had been clean for a year when her and Marcus broke up.
Today she was clean for almost a whole month. I was damn proud of her. She'd gone through so much.
But she came out on top of it all, ruling the world in her own way.
The tracks replayed, Mina re-sang, and I sat in the drivers seat, just enjoying every minute I got to spend with her before thanksgiving break when she would go back to Cali for five days.
I caught myself staring at her, studying her. Memorising those emerald eyes and that toothy grin. Her makeup was everything less of perfect, her hair was messily put up into a bun. She wore grey sweatpants and a navy blue teeshirt, pink rainboots, and a red sweatshirt. She had never looked so beautiful.
Of all the nights I spent with her, nothing had come close to the way she looked on the drive up to the hotel in New York.
I loved her, so god damn much, I couldn't put it into words.
We got to the hotel and collapsed in a laughing mess due to a joke she told me on the king sized bed in the middle of the room. We turned on the TV and switched to the movie channel. Her favourite, Dreamworks' Antz was playing. Mina loved that movie.
We cuddled close, leaning our backs against the wall.
She drifted off to sleep, probably exhausted from all the singing and dancing she had done in the car.
I told her I loved her, in a best friend way, and covered her up.
She shifted her legs so one was splayed across mine and the other tucked up underneath her.
She let out a tiny whine, scrunching her eyebrows together tightly.
I stroked her hair and shushed her to sleep, Antz playing in the background. I turned down the volume a notch or two and wrapped an arm around Mina.
She was so vulnerable, so fragile, so innocent.
How could anyone have the heart to take advantage of her?
She sat bolt upright all of a sudden, shaking and crying out in fear.
I sat up next to her, putting my arm around her again and reassuring her it was only me, she was okay.
She shook for a minute until she remembered she was tired and laid back down on me.
It happened again.
"He's coming." She whispered, scared shitless. "He's coming!" She said a little bit louder, starting to cry.
I held her close, rocking her slightly to help calm her down.
Seeing her so scared, so...small, like that...it tore my heart apart. I promised her if I ever met the bastard I would kill him. I'd rip out his piercings and skin off his tattoos.
Nobody hurts my baby girl and gets away with it.
She sniffled and shivered for a full ten minutes before she fell asleep again, and stayed asleep.
I watched her, as creepy as that sounds, to make sure she was okay.
I didn't let myself drift off until sunrise, when I knew she would sleep until noon at the earliest.
Her nightmares made her toss and turn, but she didn't wake up again until 2pm.
I opened my eyes when I felt the tapping of her fingers on my nose.
Her shirt had come off in the middle of the night along with mine. She insisted nothing happened, even though I knew nothing had.
It was simply too hot for us both, making us strip halfway.
She was in her black sports bra and sweatpants. She had never looked so good when she woke up.
For some...odd reason, her breath smelled like alcohol. She hadn't ever been known to drink, but, it was almost alarming how strong the alcohol was on her breath.
I knew she snuck a few drinks every now and then but this...this was new. I couldn't stop what happened next, as much as I wanted to. My heart took over for my brain and I let everything happen.
Mina climbed over top of me, spreading her legs wide and placing herself right where I was so craving her for the last ten years.
She leaned down and kissed me, I remember tasting the bitter drug on her tongue. I couldn't help but be in euphoria to finally have the girl I was so in love with. I sound like a terrible person but my body was in autopilot, I couldn't push her off as hard as I tried to get my arms to move.
She ground her hips to mine, letting out a light moan, the stench of the alcohol almost unbearable.
I wanted to stop her, I swear I did, but I just couldn't.
What happened next, I was not expecting.
She bit her lip and undid the button and zipper on my jeans.
I closed my eyes and then opened them, hoping it was all just a dream. To my misfortune, it wasn't just a dream.
I'm so in love.
~
[Mina's POV]
~
I don't know why I drank to help me sleep in the early hours of the morning, but I wanted to sleep and I couldn't avoid my nightmares if I didn't get drunk. I found the booze in the minifridge near the TV.
Ashton didn't know I'd gotten into some trouble in that hotel, he'd kill me.
He wanted to kill me anyway when I fucked the life out of him.
Every guy I was ever with told me I was a damn good sex partner. Ashton was no different.
I wouldn't be saying all of this if I wasn't in such a good mood.
Fuck, he was so big! I rode him for a good half hour, giving him a hardcore orgasm and two for myself.
The entire hotel probably heard us, I didn't really care. I don't care now, either.
I talked to Kayla briefly when they came back from NYC and she said he was amazing in bed. Probably only said that because she was a virgin.
Ashton...oh my god, Ashton. I had never, ever, ever, in the entire 18 years of being best friends, ever, seen him in such pleasure.
Fuck, I loved him and I loved him from the first day of my life I can remember.
He. Was. Hot. He was also...the absolute best thing to ever happen to me. He saved my life. He let me crawl into his bed with him if I needed to in the middle of the night. He would get me some water if I had drank all of mine, and he would sing to me if I asked him to. It was only in the dark hours of the night that he would show his true singing voice, and not the one we goofed around with singing along to Hey Violet or Green Day.
It was...genuine, it was beautiful.
He was beautiful.
The first time he sang to me after I moved back from Cali...that was the moment I realised I didn't want to spend my life with anyone else.
I loved Marcus, but I was in love with Ashton.
I kissed him after I was done giving him his well deserved pleasure. We went for round two, but he took control.
I was so in love with him, I didn't ever want to let go of him. I wanted to be as close as possible to him, our bodies pressed tightly together, our lips just grazing from our moans of pleasure.
I wasn't worried about getting pregnant, I was tested, when the accident happened. Turns out, I'm infertile anyway.
We had never been closer and I could not get enough of him. Even in my tipsy, hazy state, I loved him more than anything else, ever.
He made me a better version of me, and I could never thank him enough for being my friend when everyone else was across the country.
I loved him, so, so much.
I'm so in love.