untangled - muke - the distortion trilogy 3

0.1

Michael lets out a whimper, fisting my t-shirt as he cries.

"Shh, shh," I hush him, stroking his hair as my heartbreaks--it breaks every time I see him cry. "It's okay. You can talk to me."

"N-Not Gordon," he chokes out. "It's me."

"What?" I frown, giving him gentle touches in an attempt to relax him.

"G-Gordon doesn't h-hate me," Michael wails. "I hate me."

My eyes widen in confusion and disapproval. "Don't say that," I chide him. "Don't ever say that, baby boy."

"N-No, Lukey, you don't g-get it!" Michael insists.

"Then explain it to me," I plead.

"Gordon is me," Michael breathes out. "I'm Gordon."

-

LUKE'S P.O.V.

I frown as Michael continues to sob into my chest, raking my fingers through his hair.

"No," I disagree. "You're not Gordon, you're Michael, you're my baby--"

"I'm a-all of those th-things," Michael hiccups. "I'm Michael, I'm your b-baby, and I'm G-Gordon."

I shake my head, pulling away from Michael to cup his cheeks. "Michael, you aren't that monster, you're an angel, you're--"

"You don't get it!" Michael repeats, thrashing away from me. He stands up, shaking as he glares at me, clutching his pillow against his chest.

"Baby, please--" I beg, and he chucks his pillow at me, tears beginning to stream down his face. I'm caught off guard by his sudden mood change

"I am that monster!" Michael screams. "I'm a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a monster--"

He continues the chant, breaking down into sobs and falling back onto his roommate's bed--Ashton's bed, curling himself up into a ball.

I want to go comfort him, to hold him, but we've been in this situation before, and I know how it goes.  I can already hear the sound of shoes hitting the floor as they run down the hallway, towards this very room to knock Michael out and forcefully drag me out of the hospital. We've been in this situation before, and I know how goes.

I hear the sound of  heels screeching and a body clambering into the room. I prepare myself for the sight of a needle in my baby's neck and rough hands gripping my biceps."Michael, are you--?"

I spin around, eyes wide at the voice I hear. Definitely not the one I was expecting. "Ashton?"

The look on his face is incredulous. "Luke, what the hell are you doing here?"

Oh, my God. I begin to panic. First my boyfriend starts freaking out uncontrollably and next my f ucking rapist walks through the door! Wonderful.

"I, um, I came to see Michael and...and..." I trail off, gesturing at my crying boyfriend, my heart shattering within my chest.

"I've gotta go get a nurse," Ashton sighs, running a hand through his long hair. I start to think that damn it has gotten long--it was super short when we dated--but I push the thought away. Now is not the time.

Ashton runs out of the room, and I decide that I need to at least attempt to comfort my boyfriend before he's drugged. I would never forgive myself if I didn't.

"Michael?" I ask softly, crouching down next to him on the floor. He's still crying, that awful chant spilling out of his mouth.

"I'm a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a monster--"

"Michael, look at me," I say, grabbing his shaking hands. He looks up at me, green eyes meeting blue. His eyes are already rimmed with red, tears staining his cheeks. He hasn't stopped chanting and he looks even paler than usual. God, he looks so sick, as if his mental illness is finally manifesting physically.

"I think they're gonna come take you to the isolation room again, okay? It's only twelve hours, and I promise I'll be there when you get out," I tell him. I don't know if he can hear me. He's staring into my eyes so intensely that I'm not even sure if he can see me and he's still chanting. I can only pray he's listening. "I love you," I say. "You're not a monster, and I love you so much." I move to press my lips against his forehead, but he flinches away.

"Get away from him!"

A nurse is yelling now, and people are flooding the room. There's a rough hand on my arm and I'm being pulled backwards, away from my baby. 

I can't see him anymore. I can't see anything. My vision is blurry from tears. The grip on my arm has gotten gentler. I'm being sat down on a couch. Someone is holding me.

Oh, my god. Someone is holding me.

I blink away tears and find myself in the visitation room, which is okay. What's not okay is the fact that Ashton has his arms around me.

"G-Get off of me!" I exclaim, pushing myself away from him as forcefully as I can. I slide to the other side of the couch, curling my knees up to my chest and clutching at the fabric of my jeans to stop my hands from shaking.

"Luke, please--" Ashton tries apologize--or defend himself, I could never tell the difference with him--but I cut him off.

"Stop! You hurt me and you're going to hurt Michael and I'm never going to forgive you," I insist. To my surprise, his eyes cloud over with tears at my words.

"I said that I'm sorry--"

"You stole my first time!" I exclaim, eyes wide and furious. "It could've been with someone who actually loved me, it could've been with Michael but instead you got it and you never even cared about me." My voice is malicious, and it actually makes Ashton flinch.

"I'm sorry," he repeats. I don't forgive him, but I appreciate the fact that he isn't denying it. "Do you want me to call someone to get you? Calum?" His voice has a hopeful tone in it, and I don't like it.

"My mum is here," I mumble. "But I'm not leaving. I'm gonna go sit in that room and wait for Michael to get out."

Ashton tsks. "I don't know if they'll let you do that," he warns. "They probably think you snuck in here and caused his panic attack." Ashton pauses, as if pondering over his words. "Which you did."

My lip wobbles at the truth in his words. I want to say something--anything--but my brain won't form words.

I just want Michael to be okay.

~

A/N: hi friends!!! wow this chapter is super poorly written and loooOoO0Oo0ong overdue but here it is!!! first chapter of untangled!

i hope everyone enjoys this book and thank you so much for sticking with me((: it really means a lot

btw if you havent yet check out my new ot4 fic bulletproof!!!! I LOVE YOU FRIENDS