the red felt tipped crescents and angry slashes laid across his arms, a crime to the things he'd sworn committed at his fingertips, his body aching numbly, drained and slightly sickened by his viciously self destructive impulses driving him closer and closer to something more permanent each time
everything ached, his heart felt like it had stopped in shock and his vision felt blurry around the edges, giving him the impression of a flickering shadow that existed only as an illusion, one that played tricks on his eyes and mind til he gave up trying to see and just closed his eyes, let the little flourescent points and glowing bulbs flicker behind his eyelids
He doesnt exist does it ? hes not there, hes not around anymore, he said he wasn't coming back for me
He always kept a promise
tylers dizzy vision and shaking hands told him to sit down before he did something worse, his body couldnt take much more of itself, he couldnt take much more of himself either.
the thin line that once lay between reality and Him was now nothing, just an dull static that made it impossible to discern between the two, waiting for him to slip up and take him down in his weakest state.
He knew when tyler was at his worst because this was it, standing right in front of him a mirror cracked version of the person he used to be, foggy eyes and bloody lips and arms
tyler tilted his head up slowly and almost immediately fell backwards, his unsteady vision begging him to sit down, his aching insides pleading to be saved from the years of suffering theyd been put through. he was tired, everything about him was tired, his ragged breathing was not a sign of survival but one of warning, he would be gone any second. the raw scars ached and he cringed slightly as he let himself sit down slowly on the floor.
you cant keep at it much longer can you ?
he doesnt hear Him, if he does he doesnt answer
he doesnt need to
He knows, He just doesnt care, He doesnt exist for sympathy and He doesnt allow tyler to feel any for himself.
he doesnt care
i dont care
tyler tries to sigh but nothing comes out.
he cant speak anymore and he can barely breathe.
the bitter, toxic taste coating his tongue and throat made it impossible to swallow
his body is still holding on, so is he, unwillingly
im still here and i dont care
tyler closes his eyes and lets himself drift off to sleep
will you still be here tomorrow ? he asks, his eyelids heavy
im not like everyone else. ill be here forever. He answers
and i still dont care.
YOU ARE READING
control
Fanfiction.he just wants them to go away. ///multiple trigger warnings (self harm, etc), please be careful///
