To most people, high school could be a bit of a drag. They count down the years till they are able to rid themselves of their personal torment, but it wasn't like that for me. My personal torment began when high school was over. I loved going to school every day for the chance to see Frank. To see how his brown eyes shine brighter than the sun when he saw me. To see his smile and know it was there because of me, to hear his laugh and just be with him. To me, he was the love of my life. The reason I woke up and went to school in the morning. I'd known him since I was five but I never really saw him the way he always saw me. It wasn't until I turned fourteen that I realized I had always been in love with him.
Growing up in a small town like Weslaco made it very difficult to meet new people. Every year I would get thrown in the same classes with the same people I had always known, like Frank. Frank and I had been friends since grade school. You couldn't hear his name without hearing mine attached to it, Frank and Yessenia. I knew him better than I knew myself and he knew me as well. I had always known how Frank felt about me but I tried to ignore it. At the time, I just saw him as a friend. So my reaction when I saw him with Linda truly surprised me. I was jealous. Linda was fourteen, a year younger than he was, like me. She was short, skinny, had black curly hair that reached her waist and she sometimes wore glasses. She was actually a very nice girl but that didn't stop me from disliking her. And it didn't help that most of the guys I knew thought she was beautiful and they couldn't see why she was with Frank. But I couldn't see why Frank was with her. I told myself that it was because he was my friend and I wanted him to be happy. But that wasn't it. I wanted him. I wanted him to be happy with me. To be honest, I can't remember how I managed it. One minute he was dating her and the next he was with me. But from then on we were inseparable. We had our fights like any normal teenage couple but we always worked things out. He used to say that there was something about me that always made him come back. And as long as he lived, it will always be that way.
When senior year began, it was just like all the others. We managed to get at least two periods together, which included lunch. You would think that after three years together we would get tired of constantly being at each other's side, but it wasn't like that. I counted down the hours till fifth period speech class. Normally, speech would have been one of the classes to avoid, but having him there with me made it all the more bearable. The teacher used to call us his 'love birds' because we were always together and I didn't care to mind. As the first semester went flying by, I remember thinking that life was perfect and that we would be together forever. But I know now that nothing last forever. Things always change and not always for the best.
Midway through the semester, several recruiters arrived at our school. They were looking for eager, young men and women to join the Army. I never really thought that much of the future. I just always assumed that we would be together. So I was surprised to find out that his idea of the future was a bit different from mine. He always told me that he wanted to be an "un-known hero," but I just assumed he wanted to be a cop, or something along those lines. So when he told me he had enlisted in the Army, a feeling of uncertainty overcame me. I thought I knew him, but I had obviously missed something. There I was in the middle of a crowded cafeteria yet I had never felt more alone. He promised nothing would change between us, but I didn't see it that way. Regardless of how many times he told me he loved me, I just couldn't believe him. All I heard was that he didn't want to be with me anymore. That he was leaving as soon as we graduated, and to me that wasn't love.
For the next couple of days, I tried to forget that conversation. Put it aside and concentrate on the present. But I just couldn't get over the fact that he would be leaving me. So as much as it hurt me to do it, I couldn't let myself fall more in love with him, even though I knew that was impossible. My heart, my entire reason for living already belonged to him. But if he didn't care enough to stay, then I didn't care enough to make our relationship last through the end of the year. I didn't see the point anymore. So I told him it was over. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. But I was wrong, as usual.
