I don't see colour.
Everything I see is in black and white. Everything is mix shades. A life dominated by a dull grey.
Sometimes it gets lonely. The same shades, the same pictures, the same sights.
When I look through my camera lens, I see detail, I see photos being shot. I see landscapes, I see flowers and the sky. I see photos being created everywhere.
But I do not see colour. No, I see the same bleak world.
When I read a book, I do not imagine beautiful colours, I do not imagine a story being shaped. No, I see small print of words on a page. I see the white paper and the black letters that slowly cuts into my skin and ruins my world.
When I paint, I do not see an array of flowing colours that brings even a blank piece of paper to life. I see a messy splatter of shadows and lines on a page. Lines of gray and black that stain a page.
Lines of grey and black that stain my life.
When I sit and watch and observe the scenery, I see the sharp outlines of the mountains and the swaying of the trees. I see the lines of the waves and movements of the soft grass. I see the wind choreographing the leaves dance. I merely observe Mother Nature but I lack the colour to join the dance and the movement and the graceful storm.
For I was cursed. For many were cursed.
For those who searched answers were cursed.
I was one who was born with curiosity. And curiosity brought me no joy in the suspicion of the colours false sight on earth. To be satisfied I had to know the truth.
And the truth is was cursed me.
I saw no end to it either. I have grown into a world so full of potential and beauty but to enjoy you must see the colour.
You must see the colour of joy and happiness. You must see the colour of peace and calm. You must see the colour of the Earths love and compassion.
But I see the sadness and mourning. I see the bleak life of war and pain. I see no love or compassion in the shadows where my mind dwells.
For the curse brings agony. It's shade makes your life worth nothing.
In the Mighty Earths core holds the depressing reality. The life of colour is merely a dream, a false hope, a lie. An Earth destroying, heart shattering lie.
And I tell you this, not out of spite or hatred or envy.
I say this out of love for you. I say this out of fear that one day your world will be ruled by the same grey shades that many have doomed themselves with. That I have doomed myself with. Do not seek out the dark side Earth has hidden in lies. Do not search for truth and knowledge. The thought of happiness in knowledge is deceiving. The knowledge of the truth can destroy your ability to see the colour in life. Be intelligent, unlike myself and many others. Be wise enough to stay away.
Stay in the lies and stay in the happiness. Cherish family and friends.
Join in the dancing, the movements. Enjoy it for the many of us who cannot anymore.
For we shall continue the lonely photos.
We shall bear the pain of the books with no imagination.
We shall persist on the dull moments of our paintbrushes as we paint empty, meaningless objects and dimensions.
We shall seek out the dance of the Earth but never shall we join in the swift and soft movements.
For we know the evilness inside.
Cherish the colour in your life.
Do not worry about me either, my love.
I have warned you and that has brought me slight joy.
Now with this gun I bring myself peace and a very promising colour of red.
