I'm holding my phone with a confused look upon my face
My fingers moved on their own and dialed a familiar number
So I stare at my screen as I try to remember
Who am I callin'?
"The number you have dialed is not in service"
And then it hit me
This number was yours, and so was I
Flooded by memories
My veins started lashing
My heart started thrashing
As the half built walls around it came down crashing
And I remember
I remember
Our friendship
How we hated each other at 13
How we used to wrestle at 15
How you tried to teach me how to dance at 16
And I still don't know how to dance
I remember
The lessons you taught me
You taught me how to let loose
How to man up to my mistakes and make no excuse
How to make love instead of abuse
You even taught me how to kiss
I remember
Our long talks
Our long walks
How we used to sneak into the docks
And watch the sun rise
I remember
The way you played the violin
The smell of your hair, the taste of your skin
How I wouldn't grow a beard 'cause you liked kissing my chin
I remember
Every time you've laid your lips upon my head
Every time you've told me about the latest book you've read
Every time you've held my hand, every word you've ever said
I've spent years weaving happiness out of this pain I've bled
And it all came undone at the pull of a thread
I remember
So I pour myself a glass of scotch
Perhaps it can drown my memory
The first doesn't work. Perhaps after three?
After the fourth I can still feel your touch upon my knee
After the tenth I can see you sitting infront of me
Why won't you just fucking set me free?
'Cause, the bottle is empty, and I still remember
And for the first time since that December
I realize just how angry I am
How dare you leave me behind?
How dare you invade my mind?
You've designed and refined
This beautiful mental hell
In which I am confined
So I search every corner but you're nowhere to be found
How dare you leave me, mute deaf and blind?
I want to talk to you, I need to say "Good-bye"
I know it isn't possible, but I'm drunk and a little bit high
So I go to where it happened and I try not to cry
And I rant, and I scream, my anger bonafide
Don't you remember, how in my arms you used to hide?
Don't you remember, you were supposed to be my bride?
And I know i makes no sense
I know it wasn't your fault you died
I know 'cause since that night, I too am dead inside
So I lean back my head as I sit in this broken chair
My undead lungs can scarcely draw air
And I close my eyes as I try to stare at a future without you
And I see nothing
