I don't know why I do it because I know I'm going to get hurt in the long run but I just can't seem to walk away.i guess I just like the rush. That has to be it because I want the feeling of being alone. Because ill actually be feeling something that's why I run into love that I know is no good for me with open arms that's why I get hurt that's why this pain is unbearable because I do to my self.
"Some one save me from me!!!!!!"
"Ill help you"
"What was that??? Who who are you???"
"Your savior"
"My savior why would you want to save me?? I'm broken."
"That's why I want you I want to show you love the love no one has never showed you before"
"Who are you??? Why do you want to save me your not helping me just making me question more"
Emptiness that's all I feel after those final questions the silence in my head was quickly filled with over powering thoughts. Cutting, suicide, life isn't wroth living, why am I such a screw up?!?
I grabbed the razor and started cutting releassing The pain and that thought. The blood started to round my wrist and dripping to the rug beneath me. Numb from the pain I plop on my bed in satisfactory and relief. Over coming me then black from the sleep over coming my mind the again blackness.
The place is an old ruined run down castle my heart is pounding in my ears the hard rock floor underneath my feet
"HHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPP. MMMMMMEEEEE!!!!!!"
The shirking ripped through the the night sky, the shirk caught me so off guard that a scream caught in my throat. I couldn't breath then I felt the pressure first then the wet then the water in my lungs, I was in an ocean the salty taste filled my mouth touching each individual taste bud. I reached but only grabbed water thrashing choking I didn't know what to do so I gave in and felt my body hit the ocean floor. The water drained, I'm back at the castle coughing choking and the salt still but gasping for air breathing. Foot prints echo through the hall I'm laying in they are getting closer. I look behind me to see the black hood, the synth, the cloud of smoke the thick black smoke and fog, the grim repper I get up to run but the ground turned to tar consuming the heat is taking over me frying my skin my flesh. The screams ripping tho right the air, my screams
the screams I heard earlier they were mine, that's why I couldn't breath. In that instant I let my body go limp wanting what happens next to happen. The burning turned to coolness so comforting my screams caught in the air and stopped echoing. The tar was gone the grim reaper gone I stood in a light confused.
"Where am I?"
"Where do you think?"
" I...I- I don't know. Heaven dead?"
No the clouds are deceiving like that but not heaven. Daughter I've seen your struggles I want to make you whole again to mend the parts if you that are broken I want to change you. To be stranger then what the enemy has for you so you can com In to my kingdom I love you.
The last words echoed in my head when I woke up I lay there in bed trying to figure if I am awake or if I'm still in the dream I'm afraid to get up but the buzzing of my alarm brings me back to the real world I get up go to my closet an reach,search for the bottle of vodka i keep hidden I find it. 3 shots left that's all I need to get the buzz and not feel anything today. I gulp down the bottles contents and throw the empty bottle out of my bed room window so I can throw it in the dumpster before my parents awake. I walk walk to the bathroom and get in the shower I watch as the water turns a tinted pink running down the drain swirling down until its gone I got out and turned towards the mirror
