The Dangerfields

Chapter Ten

It happens so fast. I run towards the Shaws in a fit of rage as an angry red aura rages around me. They run in fright, and I pick up the bird, and I heal it.

I didn't even think of the government's vehicle, parked across the street. I didn't think about the agent watching my every move. A sense of satisfaction floats through me as Alston's wing is healed, but my consciousness knows that if I had left the Shaws alone, all the pain would never have come.

I now know what comes next, but how could I in the moment? I walk over to Livia's. 'No!' I think in desperation, 'Not to Liv's! If you go there she'll die!' But I don't listen, because I can't hear these thoughts.

I open the door, and walk in, calling Liv down. She comes running, and gasps when she sees Alston. She fires questions at me, which I answer nonchalantly, and the thought never occurred to me that the government man had seen my magic and was coming for me.

I should've been hiding Livia, where he couldn't get to her, but we walk slowly upstairs to her room instead. The slow pace at which we move infuriates me. 'Run! Hide yourselves so you can both live!' I try to yell, but we don't get the message. We don't know anything is wrong until we hear the door slam shut, announcing the arrival of the agent.

We start to panic, and I obey when Livia tells me to disappear. I should've hidden her first, then she wouldn't have died. But the man bursts through the door and his eyes scan the room, but Liv is the only person he can see. Because I didn't save her first.

He makes his threat, and I see in her eyes that for a split second, she considered giving me away. She immediately shoots it down, and as fast as the spark of idea came, it is gone.

She should've told him where I was, and handed me over. I would give anything to be able to do it over again, to be able to save Livia. But you don't get second chances, not in that sense.

I know her well, and I can tell when she decides to lie to him. But by now I have already started the spell, and she is disappearing. He notices the magic around her before she can lie to him, and he shoots her.

I freeze. That's all I can do as the man leaves the house. I can't believe I have to live through this moment again. I run to Liv as I become visible, and I comfort her. I want to heal her, but she won't let me because she knows I would die.

"Was it a good death, at least?" She asks, tears spilling out her eyes. "It was the best death, Liv, a hero's death."

"Like I always wanted..." And the spark of fiery life within her is gone. For the second time, I am forced to watch her die.

The first time when I went home afterwards, in my daze, I didn't notice that the car was gone, undoubtedly getting the rest of the agents.

I walk into the house and within minutes, my whole family is crying. But it doesn't last long, for the government is here. We run out the back door as they try to break down the front one.

My next mistake; leaving Grandpa. If I had stayed, I might have been able to protect him. I could've saved him.

But I can't do anything differently this time, so, like last time, I watch the events play out from the tree. It isn't any easier a second time. In fact, this time, I get to see all the times I could've jumped in and helped.

This vision is tearing me apart. I can't stand living through this moment of pain again, it almost killed me the first time.

'Run!' I tell Grandpa, and he listens.

Another mistake.

The gun is fired, and Grandpa falls. He draws in one last breath, and with it he says, "I love you, my children."

And for the second time, I watch him die.

After that moment, my sight goes black again.

Slowly, I open my eyes, afraid that I will be sucked into another vision - no, not just a vision, a memory.

But I am not, so when my eyes open, Ryder is the first thing I see. They have carried me away from the main street - now we are in an alley. I lay on the ground with my head in Ryder's lap.

I put a hand to my cheek, and feel that it is wet with tears. They well in my eyes as I think about what I just witnessed - again.

Ryder holds me as I cry, trying to sooth me. It was my fault, I think to myself, It's my fault they're dead. If I hadn't used magic, my life would be normal, and Livia and Grandpa would still be here. I had so many chances to save them, and I see it so clearly now. I could've given myself up before Livia was shot, or I could've somehow stopped the bullet from entering her body. I could've stayed and helped Grandpa, sacrificed myself to save him.

But I didn't. And now I have to live with that choice.

For the rest of my life.