Dark enough

Note 1

I know life isn't all fun and games... I know that very clearly. I've known it for a while now... what I do know what life is though... is unfair. Yes. That is the word that I use a lot... it's one of the most used words in my vocabulary actually.

Unafair, stupid, depressing, terrible, suicidal. Yes. Suicidal.... suicide... death... heh.. that doesn't sound to bad... think about it... no one will bother you, no one judging you, nothing. Just quiet for the rest of your life.

Death sounds wonderful. But. If it's so wonderful, why don't I be dead? Am I a coward? Am I afraid of the pain that might be felt? I don't know. Its not like anyone will miss me anyway... life is stupid. I didn't ask to be born in this shitty world. I didn't ask to be a stupid girl. I didn't ask for any of it.

Nothing. Why do people still look at me? I'm nothing special. I am nothing. I am no body. There is nothing to me. I have nothing. There is nothing to life. Why do people exist? Why do I exist? What is the meaning of life?

How do people get happy? I think I've experienced happiness before... I don't know for sure though. Is that when you feel something good...? Yeah. It must be good. People smile when they're happy. I can smile... but I've never experienced TRUE happiness. It must be a wonderful feeling... I've heard its contagious... I must be immune to happiness then.

I don't remember a happy moment. I've had scared, worried, depressing moments. I've heard friends can make you happy. Maybe I should get some friends... that would be nice... but it's gonna be hard. Why is he staring at me... just keep walking Jen... ignore him. He means nothing. Why is he following me... start running... is he still following me? WHAT THE HELL?! WHY IS HE FOLLOWING ME?!

"Please stop following me."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? It's making me uncomfortable."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not used to it."

"Why?"

"Because I don't often talk to people."

"Why?"

"Are you just gonna keep saying why?"

"Yup."

"Okay. Bye."

"Wait! I'm sorry! Please don't go!"

"What do you want with me?!"

"What do you mean? I want to be your friend!"

"Why would you want to be friends with me?"

"Because you seem cool walking home by yourself."

That's a first.

"Well it's not cool. I have to go home. Please leave me alone now. Bye."

"Well I can't leave you alone. Cause I'm going home this way to."

SHIT.

"Fine. Whatever."

"So how old are you?"

"I'm 13."

"Cool! I'm 12,I'm gonna be 13 in November!"

"Ok."

"What's your name?"

"I just met you. I'm not telling you my name."

"Aww! Come on! Pleeaassee?"

"My name is Jennifer Shaul."

"Cool! My name is Riley Austin!"

"Isn't Riley a girl's name?"

"It can be both!"

"Ok. Is there another reason why you decided to walk with me?"

"Well, I'm new, and you look like you needed some friends, and I needed some friends... so... I want to be your friend!!"

Eh. Am I really that obvious?

"You want to be my friend is that so?"

"Mhm!"

"Well, friend. You need to leave me alone. Cause I'm not good with people, and I'm a nobody. So please. For the last time. LEAVE ME ALONE."

I can't believe I shut the door in his face... I wonder if he's okay... OH WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE. HE'S JUST ANNOYING AS HELL. Ugh. I had a stressful day... I just wanna watch Markiplier or Jacksepticeye or something... maybe they're idiocy will cheer me up...
~TOP O THE MORNIN TO YA LADDIES MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE AND WELCOME BACK TO: HAAAAAAPPY WHEEEEELLLLLS!!!!!
Damn, he's so loud... no wonder his bio said he was the loudest YouTube gamer...
____________________________________I hope you guys are enjoying my suicide stuff. Jen even got herself a friend in the first Note!!! Lucky... all my friends are on Instagram... to bad she's so hostile towards him... he seems like a really nice guy... vote or don't!! I'll make another chapter when this gets 1 vote!! Bye Bye!!