Angel to Demon

life

ANGEL TO DEMON

Chapter three.

Three months had past and I had felt myself getting depressed and alone. I would look in the mirror crying thinking he would never come back. Maybe he actually left this time. Maybe he didn't care about me and he said he had to go so he wouldn't break my heart.

I knew these were lies but I still felt as if it were real. As if my pleasant little world with Castiel was over and I was alone on the country where creatures could get me and no one would know I was gone. The more I grew depressed the more I wanted to cut or take my life. I felt as if those were childish things... but not at all. I more than anyone know that adults get these feels too all the time. Life is too much and it crushes down on you. I have cried myself to sleep night after night, I prayed to Cas begging him to come back for just five minutes. Just say one word or me. At least say he loved me, and I got no reply. The feeling of being rejected and unanswered was getting to much and I wanted to die. The only thing that kept me going eas the thought maybe Cas would come back. It was weird to think that two opposite reasons were killing me and keeping me alive at the same time.

I knew my Angel was loyal and I honestly thought he would never hurt me. I didn't think he would leave me for so long.. but knowing his was loyal kept my heart at ease. But being alone is what made me go insane. I had work but no one talked to me. Alright that was a lie. They talk to me but I feel as if my presence went by with out notice. I felt alone no matter how much attention I was given.

After another month it felt as if Castiel wasnt going to come back. I felt horrible but the thought of looking for a new mate entered mind. I hated the thought. I would never do that to Cas. I loved him, I didn't need or want anyone else in my life. But being alone in the damn house for so long was making me feel so alone.

The silence was making my insanity slip away. The creaks on the floor would echo in my ears to where I thought people were behind me, and then the thought of Cas seeking up behind me would come in my mind, I would turn around quickly... but nothing.

I eventually got a cat to keep me company. A small Siamese that loved to curl up on my lap and purr so loudly. I knew when Cas got back he would love the thing. Maybe not love, but I'm sure that the Angel will like cat. I luckily got a cat that liked everyone.

The cat put some ease into me... once Cas was back it would be as if the cat was our family. I giggled softly. Thoughts ran across my mind on how Cas didn't like sex. I honestly don't think he ever has had it. But I don't mind him being Asexual. Although having a family, well it's what I always pictured. I will respect it though, I don't have to have sex to live.
Some times I prefer Castiel being Asexual. I rather just be cuddled then have a lover who won't stop touching me, or want to get in my pants. I honestly don't think Cas would make me do anything I didn't want to. But knowing he didn't want that made it even better.

The cat grew so big, I nigrht have over fed it. It had been almost a year, just me and the house. Alright. I told myself. Cas will be back soon. Any day, I told myself. Any day he will walk through the door and wrap his arms around me. I sat on the couch day after day. I waited and waited. The door didn't open, I stayed up all night long just in case he snuck in. But nothing.

I grew so tired, my eyes were all red and I was sore. I crawled into my bed expecting a good night sleep. I laid on my left side facing the wall. I began to ant cry. He wasn't coming back, who was I kidding. He had left me. He Said no more than a year.

I looked out, it was about the end of October. It was a weird month... it had began to snow. And a lot at that. I had to stock up on food because I knew I wouldn't be able to leave. So I had planned well. I should have bought more blankets of I would have thought of it.

I was freezing under the covers by myself. Then my breath hitched as I felt a arm wrap around my side. I was so tired I wasn't sure what was going on.

#Castiel #supernatural #castielxreader #fanfiction #castielfanfiction #castielimagine #imagine #mishacollins