They told me I was different. They told me I was special.
And so they locked me up.
***
There was no chance, just like there had never been, just like they wanted. Life was a bust, from the crack of dawn all through the night. I was a failure, everything I’d wanted and everything they wanted me to be was everything I wasn’t.
“I think…” I muttered quietly through the semi-darkness. Think quick, you’re about to break. “I think your phone’s vibrating.”
The weight lifted off me. Parker sighed and sat back. I swallowed and closed my eyes tightly. I heard the snap of Parker’s phone opening.
“It wasn’t vib – hey, are you okay?” There were cold hands on my arm, a bare ankle touching mine. My eyes snapped open.
I was okay. I was weird, backwards and completely messed up on the inside, but I could deal with that later. I was okay. Parker was right there. That was something I would deal with now.
Nodding, I sat up and raised my hand to her face. I held my breath and leaned toward her. She smiled, raising one eyebrow. She smelled like blueberries and a little like Baileys and a lot like Parker.
***
Last summer, Parker and I went down to Alaska to stay with older brother James.
We spent the entire first two days in the insanely green forests, or at the foggy grey beach, or camping in our tent in the backyard of his tiny house seemingly in the middle of a beautiful nowhere. It was bright out until almost three AM every morning.
On the third night, Parker snuck into our room, carrying two bottles. She handed me the tall bottle of vodka and sat down opposite me, on her bed. I glanced at her questioningly.
“Ben’s out.” She replied to my unasked question, shrugging and smiling mischievously.
I smiled at her. Not that he’d even notice.
She put the bottle of Baileys between her knees and pulled the cap off. She pushed her light brown hair off her shoulder before giving me a sly grin, and raising the bottle to her lips. I didn’t understand how she could drink like that. I was way too cautious. Even if Baileys was delicious, vodka was disgusting and apparently that was my drink of the night.
It took two hours of giggling and drinking for Parker to be lying with her head resting on my stomach and me to be tensing, trying not to laugh at virtually nothing. Parker was trying to tell me a story about something… or other… but she was slightly slurring and giggling. She was doing weird hand motions while talking, and I was mesmerized. That’s what I remember the most. Being absolutely mesmerized.
