It was a hot summer in July, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, Steve the idiot was taking a shit on a dead squirrel. "STEVE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING" Shouted Samantha the cliche attractive woman who dies second due to her stupidity, "FUCK OFF SAMANTHA IM BEING ONE WITH THE NATURE" Said Steve the idiot who will probably die first due to the fact that he thinks if he closes his eyes he teleports to a realm of nothingness. "Steve hurry up i'm cooking chicken" Said Freddy, the guy who thinks he's smart but really failed university 8 times in 3 years and doesn't know what a book is. The trio of friends decided camping in an un-mapped woods in the middle of no where would be a great idea. They were wrong.
Little did they know in the large mountain next to them awoke a group of ferocious beasts from their deep slumber...
"JESSICA WAKE THE FUCK UP" Said Faggotim a midget bear that has just awoken from his slumber, "H-how long have I been asleep for...." Says Jessica yawning like a little bitch, "Just about TWO THOUSAND YEARS!!!!" Shouted Faggotim, "5 more minutes faggot" Replied Jessica refusing to wake up. "ITS FAGGOTIM NOT FAGGOT JESSICA" Screamed Faggotim. After 2 hours of Faggotim shouting at jessica the third midget bear of the trio woke up and looked into the distance. "Fuckers look look!", "What is it Dipshit" Said Jessica "It's Dallas and look! Humans!" Said Dallas with a smile on his face.
The trio of midget bears had snuck up on the three friends and greeted them politely. "Hedo hoomans ve willz eatz you now kause ve are ze midget bears of ze midgat baer empore, say you fonal worda" Said Faggotim, Although the bears spoke english and could understand each other when speaking to humans they were comprehensible. "You guys sound gay, DIE FROM THE WRATH OF MY STICK" Shouts Steve charging at them, Jessica eats his ears off then takes a piss on his leg then rips him limb from limb. "Oh no! They killed Steve! I can defeat them with the power of makeup" She says chucking an infinite supply of lipstick at the bears, Faggotim decides to eat them all then he dies of makeup sickness. "Fook dis dey kalled foggot, lez eat dere facez" And then they murder cliche attractive woman then eat all of freddy's toe's and he dies of blood loss.
"That was fabuloussss!!!! Now we midget bears shall rule the world!!!!" Shouts Dallas in joy, "Five more minutes" Says jessica taking a nap.
THE END OF CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2 COMING OUT NEXT WEEK OR SOMETHING
TITLE: MIDGET BEARS VS SHARKS
DEAL WITH IT
YOU ARE READING
Attack of the midget bears
HumorA fascinating story about bears that are midget sized and have bad pronunciation who wish to enslave the world by killing every human alive. Rated M for MIDGET BEAAARRRSSSS
