Beldina the Beautiful

Unsettling Thoughts.................

It had been a whirl wind of a week Jardan and Beldina spending every minute together, Beldina was comforted that Jardan wanted to protect her, and Jardan using the excuse which she so readily accepted,  James hadn't spoken much since that day, leaving early and coming home late, Beldina had had to resign from her job seeing that it would be unfair to make them wait for her that long, not knowing what she would find in Seglon or for how long she would stay there, during this time Beldina had become fonder of Jardan, he filled her days and waking to sleeping hours, they talked about every thing and went together every where, Jardan tried to convince himself it was only to keep her safe, and Beldina wanted to believe it.  One evening as they sat in the living room playing cards, which Beldina had thought she had taught him to play, just realised that Jardan actually did know how to play cards, and as he put down his hand with another big smirk saying "I won." Beldina gave him a narrowed look, "You know I think you have been cheating me, you already knew how to play this game, you lied to me you toad." She threw down her cards and thumped him on the arm, the room was dim and cosy, James hadn't come home saying he had business elsewhere but Beldina knew he was still sulking, Jardan laughed feigning hurt, "Ow!  But you are right, of cause I know how to play cards we aren't that juvenile you know." Beldina made a face at him sticking out her tongue, Jardan laughed leaning forward and grabbing her tongue with his two fingers, they were both laughing as she pulled her tongue back, "Your such a big lier, God I wasn't even playing to win." she moaned, as she picked up the cards to replace them back into the box, Jardan was still laughing as he went to get them another glass of wine, which he had become accustomed to drinking every night since Beldina loved her wine, he brought over two large glasses and handed one to Beldina, they settled in front of the tv and Beldina picked through some films, "Oh this ones good have you seen it, its one night at the museum?" Than Beldina turns sobering up suddenly, "Oh sorry how stupid of me, of cause you haven't seen it." Watching his face she realised she had got use to him being here, as if he was a normal person, and she sighed feeling suddenly sad, Jardan felt the same, as he shrugs his shoulders, "Yeah sorry I haven't, we don't watch TV there." Beldina nods and turns back to the film, a lump forming in her throat, "Well this is a good film, I like it and I am sure you will too, I just assumed since you were here you had watched some, I am sorry." Jardan reaches out and hold her free hand, "Its OK, I understand its difficult to understand, I am not your normal guy Bells, I wish I could be." Beldina turns suddenly wanting to say so much more but her hand was shaking, her eyes watering, why was she so silly, "I just, I thought, its so silly I don't know, we have spent so much time together that it seems so natural you know, Oh I am just being silly." She looks away taking deep breaths, Jardan squeezes her hand and sips his wine before putting it down, "I wish I could be the man you wanted." Beldina takes a deep breath putting down her wine glass too, "Well you cant, can you?" She looks at him expectantly, what was she doing, this wasn't what he was here for, he was just killing time until they returned, Jardan looks down to their hands, he watches for a few minutes before speaking, "Bells, Beldina you know once I said that your name meant beautiful, do you remember?" Beldina looks up into his eyes and nods, "And you know I meant it then as I mean it now, you are beautiful, and I wont forget our time together." Beldina pulls her hand away, she didn't want to hear these words, she didn't want to think about them parting, she had grown to like him, love him even, she didn't want to lose him, but she knew she couldn't keep him here, he was not human, "Yeah I know, its just that I have got use to you, silly ha?" Jardan laughs, "Know its not silly because you know what?" Beldina looks up again into his blue eyes, "What?" she asks waiting with abated breath, Jardan smiles "Because I feel the same, but as you know its not so easy, I wish.....I wish that it had been different." Beldina tries to smile back, "well it isn't, is it. So that means that this is as far as it goes, I know you don't have to spell it out." Jardan tries to smile back but all good humour has left him, as his eyes strays back to hers, he knew how she was feeling and he had known how them spending so much time together would have affected her and him, but he had taken the chance hoping that she would want to be with him, but he had been wrong she wouldn't leave her life here for him, and he couldn't leave his life for her, this was a no win situation.