Scarred | Josh Levi

1

Dear Diary,

Day 27 of 365

Dad abused me again yesterday. There's blood stains everywhere. I need to get out of here but I can't. I'm stuck here forever. I wish mum was still around. But he killed her. I keep lying to myself that she's not dead. But I know it's the truth and I'm just afraid to believe it.

People from school have no idea of what is going on. They see me as this perfect creature who has everything. Beauty, good grades, sex appeal. The normal things teenagers want. My life is much more than that. I get beaten up, bruised, insulted, and to top it all of, I cut myself. It helps ease the pain. I make myself puke out my food, with my good old toothbrush.  

I don't understand how people say I'm pretty. When all I see is this ugly monster.

"Daphne?!"

Oh no.

I braced myself for whatever the hell this evil man was going to do to me next. I stood up from my old filthy mattress and walked down the stairs to the rec room.

"get me food now." he said shoving me into the kitchen.

I checked the fridge, pantry, cupboards but there was no food. at all.

"there's no food." I said to him whispering. I knew what was going to happen next. He was going to rape me then send me to the grocery store. Happens all the time.

He looked up at me with this evil glint in his eyes. Then he dragged me by my hair to my bedroom.

"lie down!" he spat at me.

I did as I was told. I've learnt from the past that it's no use fighting.

He took off his trousers and started touching me. I squirmed at his every touch.

"act like you're enjoying this!" he screamed at me.

But how could I? The more he raped me the worse I felt.

He entered me with force and I screamed. Tears were flowing down my cheeks uncontrollably and I was in so much pain. Blood ended up coming out from my private parts. I was too young for this kind of action. I'm only 15.

When he was satisfied her threw money at me and left the room. Bastard.

I cleaned myself up and wore some clothes and grabbed my diary. I take it with me everywhere I go. It's unsafe in this house. I left the house to the grocery store down the block. I would have tried to escape. I tried it once before but he found me and he beat me up leaving me with two broken ribs. Not trying that again. It's better to live with the pain and anguish.

It was just the begining of the year and it was still cold out. i got the occasional whistle from boys as I walked down the street. I bought the groceries and headed back home.

I felt like someone was following me so I walked as fast as I could but I missed my step and fell. A teenage boy immediately ran up to me. He was dark skinned and had brown eyes. His body was toned and he's musceles were huge. He helped me up and I thanked him.

"Hi I'm Josh." He said bringing out his palm so I could shake it.

"Daphne." I said ignoring his hands and running.

"Hey you dropped something!" he called after me.

Whatever it was, it wasn't important.

I finally got home and found my dad asleep. Good.

I dropped the stuff I bought in the kitchen and went up to my room. I hadn't eaten all day, but i felt heavy. So I got out my toothbrush forcing it into my mouth and I later puked into the toilet. That's better.

I looked for my diary so I could continue writing but I had lost it.

Oh no.

***

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