Remembering

{chapter 1}

The best feeling in the world is not getting what you want. The best feeling in the world is not getting what you need. The best feeling in the world is not getting Starbucks, or Chipotle.

The best feeling in the world is the satisfaction of anything. The satisfaction of drinking your favorite coffee, or finally finishing the book you've been reading for what feels like a century, or knowing that someone out there, in this giant, messed up globe called the world, loves you.But in my case, the satisfaction is knowing that I have gotten through the self-absorbed, and hormonal school, which I'm pretty sure everyone knows as High School.For some people(most people, I should say)High School was the best time of there life.Parties every weekend(sometimes on the weekday), having the privilege of skipping classes just because the coach does not want the star athlete to miss any game(also meaning NO DETENTION), disobeying the school dress code and not having to worry about their grades becuase they all knew that even if they were the dumbest in the squad or team, they still would have been the best at being pretty(flirting with teachers,being the schools principals daughter, ect.).

But for those of you who are like me,actually had to give a shit because they either A)Wanted to get out of their old, superficial town, B)thought they were going to get back at the people in school that bullied them, and rule them(the idiots)and finally C)just wanted to be successful.And I'm C.My 6 person family grew up in a very small house in West California.We weren't the richest people in the world, not even the richest in our small little neighborhood.Every Monday morning my sisters and I would sprint as fast as our little legs could take us to the worn down gas station, where most homeless or pick pockets visited.We would set up a little barbie boombox, putting on the best song in the world(well, that's what my 7 year old self would say, not the cringing strangers that would walk by our little corner).Barely anyone went there unless they wanted to get robbed or kidnapped, but still, it was the best time of my life.My sisters(Carly,and Jessica)would dance with little pink tutu's on, and I would just do what I knew wanted to do for my whole life.

Sing.

Singing was my only escape, especially when everyone started getting older, my sisters and I began to drift apart, my grandmother slowly falling apart from the inside out.Music was just something that understood me better than any therapist could ever understand about me.So, that's my story of how I knew I wanted to be a singer, or do anything related to music.The story of 3 little girls who would dance and sing at a cheap gas station just so they could get enough money for food that week.But, now my whole family is just broken.Carly is suddenly thinking that she is the boss of me, when really I'm 2 years older than her.Jessica has turned into a self conceited bitch, and my parents are dying in the inside due to the recent death of my loving grandmother.I never saw myself going to college, or being successful.I never saw myself as the girl who will achieve anything in life.

So, you can imagine the look on my face when I went out this morning to get the mail, and came back with a letter from my favorite Miami college, saying I got accepted.

"Mom!Oh, my gosh, mom!Get down here!Hurry up, hurry up!"

Alarmed footsteps slam into the carpeted floor, causing multiple thumps to accure.My frantic looking mother rushes into the kitchen, with her hair sticking up in different direction,and sleep in her eyes.

"Honey, Whats the matter?Are you okay?You scared the shit out of me!"my mom says,breathing out a sigh of relief once she sees me jumping up and down on the cream tile floor, with the letter still crumbled between my fingers.

"Am I okay?Mom!I'm estatic!Wonderful, grand, happy!So happy,"I rush out then pause, walking towards my mother who begins to rub the sleep out her eyes."Do want to know why?",grasping my mothers shoulders tightly, with the hand that is currently not occupied with the letter that shows my destiny, a genuine smile breaks out on my face.

After a few moments of a stare off between the sleepy women(who is currently giving me the stink eye for waking her up from her beauty sleep)and the teenage girl(who is trying to contain her happiness because she finally made it),she lets out an exhausted groan,bringing her hands in the air with a shrug,"What, Dot?"

Taking a deep breath,I emphasize on every word,"I'm going to college!",then I began to squeal,not being able to hold it in.My moms eyes widen, a gasp leaving her lips.She takes my hands in hers and tugs me into a loving hug, slightly swaying side to side.She begins mumbling words in Spanish, mostly saying,'My baby, Oh she's all grown up!'and some other incoherent words.I nod my head, as if agreeing that yes, I am growing up, I'm going to be out of this little town soon, never to look back.

"Oh, my goodness!Honey I...I can't believe this!I-I'm so proud of you!"My mother exclaims,pulling away from the hug with glossy eyes.She breathes through her nose, and rubs up and down my arms.A look of admiration comes across her face, mine mirroring hers along with excitement.My mother is the most beautiful women I have ever seen, even with tears streaming down her aging face,and some grey hairs lying upon her disheveled hair.Grace Stone(my mother)was the best person to go to advise for when younger.She was always there for me when times would get rough and I wanted to give up,but she would always whisper in my ear every night 'Show everyone you are worth it,but first show yourself you are worth it'.Over the years though she has slowly turned into ashes,following the wind across the world,and scattered everywhere,some pieces of her not to be found.She has slowly given up,due to the stress of paying bills,taking care of a house of 6 people,but then she finally broke due to the death of my grandmother,her mother.She will always be there for me,but I need to be here for her.

A look of worry paints her face,she brings her hand up to my face and rubs her thumbs under my eyes,taking away the falling tears,"Darling,whats wrong? Aren't you happy?"Confusion comes along her her hazel brown eyes when I nod my pounding head slowly,"Then what's the matter?"

I intake a deep breath of air through my nose,and letting out a shaky breath through my agape mouth.Closing my eyes,I shake my head looking down,"W-what about you?And dad,I-I need to be here for you guys.Who's going to h-help pay the bills,when no one has a decent job here,"I begin to ramble,clamping my hands over my mothers that lay on my shoulders.A gasp leaves my lips,"A-and how are we going to pay for college?We can barely pay for this shack of a house."My lips begin to tremble when a laugh leaves my mothers lips,and she begins pulling me towards one of the wooden stools next to the cobble stone counter.My eyes follow my moms figure,making her way to the coffee kettle that is filled with fresh brewed coffee.Pouring some into a Christmas themed mug,she turns towards me with a grin on her face.Taking a few napkins,she hands me the mug and wipes away my tears with the tissues.

"Honey,we have everything planned out."

"What do you mean?"I take a sip of the black coffee-just the way I like it.

Turning towards the cookie jar,she opens up the cheesy jar and takes out a wad of money that's balled up.My mouth frowns in confusion,wondering where she got all that money from.She looks down at the money then up at me,"I was saving this up for something important."

Joy floods my senses when she hands me the balled up money that looks up to about thousands of dollars.

"No."

"Yes."

"No,way!"

"Yes,way!"

We both look at each other with excitement displayed upon our faces,then laugh at each other.After a few moments of bliss,I suddenly realize something.

"Mom,what about the bills?"

She pats my back then points towards the steaming coffee that rests on the counter,"Drink that,don't waste it.And we will all pay the bills in the house,even if we have to get a double shift.Including your stubborn sisters,"she begins to emerge up the croaky steps,then pauses to look at me,"I always knew you were the smart one."Her voice whispers,with a smirk on her face.I giggle slightly,then watch as the women who gave birth to me walks up the stairs,followed with a slam of a door.Placing the mug in my hands I take a sip,Looking down at the letter.

"College."I mutter shaking my head.

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HELLO EVERYONE!THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER AND IM SO EXCITED FOR THE STORY UP AHEAD.

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW,SHOUTOUT TO @HarrehLovesMeh for being the first to vote on this book,I love you!!!!

I LOVE ALL OF YOU FOR READING MY BOOK!!!!

-HARRY---