September 21, 2015
ONE SHOT STORY
"Bakit ba kasi ako? Pwede naman na iba na lang? Wag na ako." Na-ffrustrate na ako sa lalaking to. Ang kulit kulit kasi, sabi ng ayaw ko eh. Hindi pa rin ako tantanan.
"Kasi ikaw ang gusto ko! Hindi mo ba maintindihan yun?" I can see his nostrils flaring with so much frustration too. But he doesn't make sense.
"How can I possibly understand? You don't make a sense."
"I do make a sense! I like you and I am falling hard for you. I am drowning with this feeling at lunod na lunod na ako. Hindi na ako maka-ahon at wala akong balak umahon. Ikaw itong walang sense! Dense ka pa!" Raising his hands exasperatedly. I can feel the sincerity with every word he's saying. Pero hindi pwede, mag-kaibigan kami. I don't want to lose him. Isa siya sa mga kaibigan na gusto kong I-keep. He has been my lifeline when everything is falling apart. He was there wiping every tear, making me laugh everytime I come across with the things that are making me sad or pained. Why can't he just see that?
"Ah! At ako pa?" This guy is really impossible! Ano bang nakita niya sa'kin? Di naman ako maganda at sexy! Ang dame naming sobrang nagkakandarapa para sa kanya. Kahit ilan nga na babae kahit pag sabayin niya, ok lang. Hindi siya mauubusan ng babae. Tapos ako lang. I am nobody. I am broken. I am wasted.
"Yes! Ikaw!" Sigaw niyang pabalik sakin.
"Arggghhh!!!" Naihilamos ko na lang ang mga palad ko sa mukha ko. Nakaka-frustrate talaga siya.
"Please Serena! Hear me out. I am serious about you. I want you. Only you."
"Ang dami naman dyang iba! Yung maganda! Yung sexy! Yung mamahalin ka din pabalik! Hindi ko kaya na tumbasan yang pagmamahal mo! Masasaktan ka lang!"
"No! I only want you. Simula ng makita kita, alam kong magiging parte ka na ng buhay ko, ng mundo ko. I only want you. I can't even think of not being with you."
"Bakit ba kasi!?" Hay! I am losing an argument with him. I want this topic to end! Naupo siya sa bench na malapit at nagsimulang magkwento.
"I saw you, nakasakay ka sa UV, papuntang Tanay; sa may Ortigas Ave., traffic noon. Nakasakay naman ako sa sasakyan ko, nakita kita. Leaning on the window, I was intrigued on how sad you look. Then a tear fell from your eyes. You immediately wiped it and then you close your eyes. After that, none came. I was amazed on how brave you are, I know that you are hurting so bad but you chose not to cry out loud. You just stay there unmoving, but I can see the sadness and the pain in your eyes. It will become blurry but not a single tear fell from your lovely eyes. Tumigil ang mundo ko ng dahil sayo, alam mo ba yun?" He laughed after that statement, remembering his actions that time, as if time has brought him back to that exact location and time where he saw me.
"I had the urge to wipe every tear that will fall from your eyes. Kulang na lang bumaba ako sa sasakyan ko at puntahan ka! Akalain mo yun?" he said it smiling to me.
"I don't want you to cry again or feel pain. I started to feel overprotective of you. Simula noon, sinundan na kita. I saw where you work, where you live, where do you usually go. I asked for your name, every details about you. I am there without you knowing. I stalked you and then nagbago na ang lahat. Iba na ang nararamdaman ko. I have to have a lot of courage to introduce myself to you. Hindi mo alam kung ilang beses ko sinubukan."
"What the hell?" WTH! Ano ba tong pinagsasasabi niya? All along kilala niya pala ako. All along he is there.
"Hanggang sa dumating yung araw na mag-isa kang kumakain sa Jollibee at maraming tao, I took the opportunity to come to you and ask if I can share the table. You didn't even know how happy I am hearing you say yes and hearing your voice for the first time. You actually talked to me. Akala mo puro accidents lang pagkikita natin? Hindi. Sinasadya ko yun para lang makausap ka. Small talks are enough for me but then time came that I wanted to talk to you more and we did. We became friends and there, it started. Akala ko pag naging kaibigan kita ayos na. mawawala na yung mga nararamdaman ko but it backfired me. I am liking you. No, I am actually falling for you. I fell. Deep and hard. Kaya wag mong sasabihin na wag na lang ikaw. I've tried so hard to stop what I am feeling for you." I can't deny the fact that I am attracted to him. There is something in him that pulls me towards him. A thing that makes me not to let go. To push him away. I know I will be broken again if I let him go or even hurt him. My chest aches with so much pain I see in his eyes. Ayoko siyang nasasaktan. Ayaw ko siyang ganito. He is carefree, caring, cheerful, and thoughtful. Lahat siguro ng babae mapapa-inlove niya. At alam kong kasama ako dun. I just don't want to lose him. Ayoko na kapag hindi na namin mahal ang isa't-isa ay magkakasakitan kami at maghihiwalay.
"Hades, you know my story, nasaktan ako at ayaw kong makasakit kasi alam ko ang pakiramdam ng nasasaktan. I don't want you to feel the same pain I've felt witjh Clark. Kaibigan kita at ayaw ko na masaktan at mawala ka sakin. I can't risk you. I can't risk our friendship. Hindi pa ako handa para dito. I am sorry, Hades. I'm sorry." Mas masakit ata itong nararamdaman ko para sa kanya kaysa kay Clark. Mas masakit sa ginawang panloloko sakin ng ex ko at ang pag-iwan niya sa akin sa ere. Ang sakit sakit. Nahihirapan na akong huminga. Walang tigil ang pag patak ng mga luha ko. Oh God. What have I done? Ayokong nakikitang nasasaktang ng ganito si Hades. Masakit. Sobrang sakit! Iba ang sinasabi ng utak at ng puso ko. Ano ba ang dapat akong gawin? Ano ba ang tama?
"Maghihintay ako hanggang sa maging handa ka. Maghihintay ako. I've been through a lot and I don't want to lose you that easy." Niyakap niya ako. Inaalo, pinupunasan ang bawat luhang pumapatak sa mga mata ko. I know it pained him to see me crying like this. Pero wala akong magawa. Kusa silang nag-uunahan sa pagtulo. Mga pasaway na luha. I feel him kissing my head. My heart swells with so much joy and pain at the same time. What shall I do? Can we give each other a try?
His kisses are soothing. Hanggang sa bumaba sa mga mata ko ang labi niya. He's kissing my eye. Kissing every tear away. Hawak ng magkabila niyang kamay ang mga pisngi ko. And then I felt his lips on my lips. The feeling was ecstatic, every nerve in my body tingles with superb sensation. I know that it's only him that can make me feel this way. Every unspoken words where there. Is it love?
He stopped kissing me, we looked into each other's eyes. His eyes filled with so much joy and hope. He smiled to me and said, "I'll wait for you, baby."
